stilltyping

You seem to be a very talented writer! You managed to compose a piece of writing that leaves the writer neither bored nor confused- a great accomplishment (I've never succeeded ...

I like this. It has the potential to be a very intriguing prologue. But... You introduce a lot of names, but don't describe the poeple behind them at all. I ...

I like the pace you've set. I always get frustrated when writers neglect to give description, and make no attempt to set a mood. You, however, have done these things. ...

Out of the trees, five of the toughest boys in that gang jumped out. Out of the shadows jumped a large, guy, nearly a man. An old man came out ...

Hi there. Right away I liked your work, the style of your writing is different in an indistinguisable way- and it's always relaxing to read good writing, because then you ...

Hello there. First of all, you did well in creating intrigue near the end. We all want to know what will happen next, obviously, and that is really the most ...

Hello there! I agree with Shriek, in that the Mark information doesn't fit well with the story. Actually, I was dissappointed when you gave up describing Linden for him. I ...

I enjoyed this chapter more than your first. It was very interesting and different, engaging. I recommend making the transition into the dream a lot clearer, though. I had a ...

Hello there. I read through the entire piece, which in itself is a very good sign. At least you know your story isn't boring. You did a very good job ...

If it weren't for the affecting intensity of the short lines and stanzas, I'd say the words were too simple. As it is, they fit rather nicely. Enjoyed your poem, ...

I rather liked it. Liked that unassuming air, which amoung young writers is rare. See that you've avoided using that superiority complex, the one that involves so much knowledge-mongery, which ...

Aside from the grammar and punctuation advice given by the others, there only one thing that stood out to me that could be improved upon, and that is pace. Sometimes ...

This is a whole lot better than its title would have lead me to expect. I especially enjoy the way you describe things with originality, while not overdoing it- a ...