starrgazer

I like how this is going and you kept in interesting all the way through. It also has a humorous, somewhat cocky tone to it (from the narrator) which keeps ...

I was instantly mesmerized after reading the first few sentences. Contrary to most of the other letters written for the contest, to me, yours was like a slap of reality. ...

I think it's pretty good so far. You did a good job of drawing readers in with the first paragraph. So is this the first part of your novel? If ...

Contrary to what others said, it was very clear to me that Johanna was a stillborn(...awkward if that wasn't the case...). The adjectives and descriptions you wrote really crystallized all ...

This is a great piece that A LOT of people can relate to. I totally agree with many things you said. People who you've met for just a few minutes ...

I like how it rhymes and its very easy to understand. Its pretty good for your first poem. One thing you may want to focus on is playing around with ...

love how its going so far :) One thing, could you add a little more description of the guy or the main character? That'll help us get a better visual ...

this is a very beautifully written piece with tons of expressive descriptions. The whole thing flows very well; its is smoothly connected and doesn't have any sort of awkward moments. ...

wow! I must say, at first it kind of confused me, but as soon as I saw you were writing about excitement, it made a lot more sense. My favourite ...

overall its pretty good. There are a few things you could look over though: But when she answered Its best if you don't start with "but" you've also got some ...

this poem focuses on an big issue on how people would just turn a blind eye to people in need, which is great. It really tries to convince the reader ...

w.o.w. This just left me breathless. The pictures you painted were really vivid and gave off a surreal, kind of dream like feeling. Personally, its very well written, but sometimes, ...

its really good :) just like the previous comment, the word choices were good; its nic to have a sweet and simple poem once in a while. I think the ...

I like how the story is join so far :) Its light, humorous and flows pretty well. Nothing much seems to happen but then again, every novel has those filler ...

haha, lov your story so far. The beginning really hooked me into the story so that was good. I also loved your writing style from the pov of the guy. ...