sokool15

Wow...this was pretty good! *welcome to the site, by the way.* First of all, you had a few typos and some strange sentences: It stands there, and I feel it's ...

Overall, very intriguing! I'd like to keep reading. To begin at the beginning; the first few paragraphs, where Cat is trying to get Ace's attention while Ace is trying to ...

This is really interesting to read...and it makes me want to read more. However, I think the corny swearing: "shoot" breaks it up. I completely understand that you wouldn't want ...

I agree with the others as well, but you really need to drop the modern language. It doesn't fit in with your descriptions and other language. For instance, your 'wows' ...

I think this was really interesting...a good start. However, I don't think you should start with the words "Even though it was only two intervals until sundown, a thick fog..." ...

I liked this poem...it's creepy and chilling. That's what you meant to do, right? First of all, some of your rhyming pattern is a little awkward. I lost sight of ...

"He sighed and looked over Agnes once more..." I don't like this particular phrasing. Over all, it's a great piece...I enjoyed it. That last part, however, sounds as if he ...

First of all, great idea! I really enjoyed the story. You have a few errors here and there, (have you tried reading it out loud? It helps) but overall it's ...