smorgishborg

Ending line is awful and should be scrapped. It totally doesn't mesh with the rest of the poem, and it doesn't make enough sense to justify it being left in. ...

This is a poem which has that hint of sarcasm that I love to write/read. I think the sentiment is strong and relatable, what's left is to make the word ...

Exactly what are you trying to accomplish by writing "pretty random lol" as a subtitle? Seriously? Because this is a red flag for a poem written with little thought, and ...

What I like most about this is that it's evident you've put work into this poem. I see some solid attempts at unifying it into a theme, and articulating the ...

No no no no no no! This not how to write good poetry, let alone poetry in general. This is a generic, tired idea told in a generic, uninteresting, uninspired ...

The evening, I read a poem about something or another it ended in four lines and I felt thoroughly cheated of substance Agreement with Suzanne, whatever there was behind the ...

Interesting. [spoiler] Talking about these ? *** 1. The musty scent of old leather and old wood spilled over every crack in the saloon. not sure I like "spilled over". ...

It's nice, but you shouldn't have had to explain the whole camel thing. I mean, it's a personal poem, but that kinda thing can be alluded to, and -why not?- ...

The dialogue is clichéd, the plot is nonextistant, I have no clue what "The State of Massachusetts" sounds like, your camera choices will give the viewer vertigo (written like a ...

Bogus! There is nothing that says that Haiku's need to be "mysterious". Whatever the genre, poems should be understandable. If you can't understand it, then perhaps it needs work. The ...

This poem comes off as a collection of overused analogies and metaphors, cobbled together so that they rhyme. There is little substance to the structure, little sustance to the word ...

Like poodle skirts and ex-relationships, this is best kept in the past. [spoiler]North Country I. A Case of the Mondays Monday at the office was a Monday like any other. ...

Edited for flow. [spoiler]Tonight my life takes it’s last sigh over the clear skies, [s]where the[/s] and clouds so high. Where birds soar over the golden glen s , I ...

All I hear is blah blah blah. Poems need to come to something. They need to arrive at a point, or go through a point, or be on their way ...

There is much more that could be done. [spoiler]ACT I SCENE 1 OPEN on an old man, CARLOS, standing center stage with his hands in the pockets of his overcoat. ...