shadowraiki

I'm crouched down in a pouncing position like a panther. The grayish blue pebbles in front of me are painted chalky white and I zone in on the dilapitated line ...

This is a perfect example of how a dialogue can tell a story. God that was beautiful, I want to read it again and again. The beginning was just pure ...

I wasn't in the mood to read something long, but I was so entranced that I read until the end. It was that good. A lot of what happened was ...

Is this a rant towards God? It feels like that to me. Though it could also be a character talking to an author. I liked it. There isn't much else ...

All the terminology set a pace that left me wanting more. I could imagine all of this happening above earth. Even in the beginning when there was no action, I ...

The way I saw it was that Adrian wanted to know more about the boy, but never did anything to get closer to him. It's like a one sided relationship. ...

Scenary isn't usually my thing. I can't find the difference in beauty between a waterfall and a brick wall. But this was a really good description. Albeit, it was just ...

When time was not even time, a king was proclaimed, to rule over every abyss, ocean and land. On the day of his coronation, God and Lucifer descended to earth. ...

Wooh, the biggest issue I saw was formatting, spelling, and punctuation. I corrected some of those for you, though I may have missed a few. As for format, split your ...

There isn't much to say that hasn't already been said. I agree that this is a nice, short piece. I hope you get a good grade for this. Another quote ...

You really set the mood for France with the use of a single french phrase. There were no grammar mistakes as far as I am concerned, but something stuck out ...

Hello. Your use of words and adjectives creates a great image for me in my mind. However, it is those same words that annoy me as well. I feel like ...

I'll do the grammar/small nit picking stuff for you: -- Commas; please put spaces after the commas. So rather than "young,average" it should be "young, average" -- Run on sentences; ...

I'm going to be extremely critical of this and try to stay within 150 words (impossible so I take that back. But perhaps my words will steer you in a ...

Hello! I will begin by saying you have some vivid descriptions here. You described pretty much everything needed for me to paint a picture in my mind of what is ...