scasha

I guess I should explain myself. As I wrote what is now chapter 2, I realized that I really do need this story to be in 3rd person. Too many ...

I don't know what possessed me to write this, it kind of just happened. These two police officers, Carson Layne (who has had something else tragic in his past) and ...

I felt angry with myself. -- show that you're frustrated. Don't tell the readers you're angry. make them figure that out. I had ran away. instead say, I had been ...

In school we had this homework assignment and we had to write this science-fiction story. Well, here it is: Mr Frigid made sure that no one else was in the ...

Max had always had luck, that isn’t to say that it was always good luck per say but luck all the same. - okay in this sentence you repeat luck ...

Elves are a type of fey that has developed a very physical existence. -- i think you mean fairy. They belong to the Seelie court but have integrated extremely with ...

We did good. instead say we were okay. Her hair was tousled to the side and matted with clumps of dirt from the dirt floor beneath her mat. this sentence ...

The cherry tree stood, unabashed, gazing placidly out along the little stream and rook. -- cherry trees don't really gaze instead say the cherry tree stood, unabashed overlooking the little ...

The words ran through Arianna's mind ...now comes the story of Nine-fingered... "Ms. Casey, Ms. Casey!" Arianna disconnected her mind from the downloaded book. "We have arrived Ms. Casey." -- ...

"What are they?" Tara murmured in a tense mixture of awe and fear. take out ina tense. Instead just say murmured in a mixture of awe and fear. Each one ...

Britney decided to talk about what she saw “well, I think I saw gates.” At this point Alvin interrupts saying “and look, I got a new cell phone!” -- instead ...

“Jynara. Jynara. Jynara,” strange words flowed through my head. -- instead say the same strange word repeated over and over in my head. I opened my eyes and saw a ...

But at that moment, Aedomir flinched, as he saw suddenly an explosion of light, as if dawn had broken with mighty fury. Begin the sentence with suddenly, an explosion of ...

There was a tugging and a grunt as the laces of Suzanna’s corset were tightened. Specify who is tugging and who is grunting. And tugging usually isn't a sound so ...

The clock strikes 3:00 in the mourning and Alastrona awoke. She could hear the snores and cries of other patients, with the laughter of the doctors and nurses working the ...