sabradan

This meant completey toungue-in-cheeck, so here it goes. I hope it doesnt offend anyone though,

Ok. Sam, thanks. Do you have any examples for what you mean? And yeah, its set in a kibbutz on the outskirts of Jerusalem.

Well, I think all stories are worth writing, but I'm a little confused. Why would the government be looking for her and her brothers just cuz she lost all her ...

Did you know that more people have died in auto accidents because theyre not flying than died when the plains hit? For your research, my mom took me into the ...

well, now that was um, quite lovely now wasn't it? But stylistically its pretty good.

No... I've seen much better parodies of the bible. First, you need to get the language perfect for this to work. You're getting close, but not nearly close enough if ...

seems rather dark and depressing. But the wording and imagery are nice.

looks good from here.

I think its good over all. It is very good especially in terms of imagery but you really need to check your spelling, grammar, and syntax

I dunno. I liked it, especially the repetition. I don't really know why I liked the repetition either, because I normally don't but, ah, oh well. It reminded me of ...

I liked the first and last stanza, and the rhyme/meter was good. I don't really understand or like that you put "scream" in quotes, but to each their own, I ...