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Re: The Dark Shadow
Hey, I know this is your first post but i'm going to honest with you, okay? Well my first point would have to be it is a little short. Most ...
Wed Dec 01, 2010 5:55 pm -
Re: Realized
Hey! I am here as requested. It was a short poem, which was good, but, with a little more length it could be a long poem which is great. First ...
Tue Nov 30, 2010 6:54 pm -
Re: A Depressed God
Hey, Poems about od I love especially in this contest,however, there is something that bothers me about it, but I don't know what. I think it could be the actual ...
Sat Nov 27, 2010 6:51 pm -
Re: Bouquet of Bruises
Hello! I am here as requested! I can see your problem and I do think more emotion is needed as at the moment all we have is visual imagery(I will ...
Mon Nov 22, 2010 8:41 pm -
Re: An Ode to...
Hello my dear! I would not scrap it, but as you say it does need changed. My problem with the piece is the way you have started each stanza. It ...
Wed Nov 17, 2010 8:49 pm -
Re: God's Tuesdays [1]
hello! This was really good. I shall give my negatives first. Mrs V. I would change her name, it just doesn't sound right for the character portrayed. When he goes ...
Sat Nov 13, 2010 9:27 am -
Re: Please God
Hey, In terms of how this was written and the content it was really really god, so I plaude you there. However, I feel like this is in the wrong ...
Sat Nov 13, 2010 9:17 am -
Re: You are music
Hey, This poem, wasn't really a poem. It was a list. And didn't really have much to it. . . . I think you need to go through it and ...
Fri Nov 12, 2010 8:45 pm -
Re: Not Here
Hey, I couldn't find any major flaw other than in the first two or three paragraphs a little more emotion to back up the visual would be excellent. I think ...
Mon Nov 08, 2010 5:59 pm -
Re: Taped Piano Keys
Hello, Well first let me give you my interpertation; I felt like that this was a memory of a woman when she was a child and I felt like the ...
Mon Nov 08, 2010 5:55 pm -
Re: The Play of Life
Like others have said I share thie r points. My only other nit pick would be the first two lines contradict each other. The stage isn't classed as set if ...
Sun Nov 07, 2010 5:03 pm -
Re: Write What You Know
As a rule I do not like the genre but I have to say this is amazing. I loved gthe opening as it was simply put and almost child like ...
Sat Nov 06, 2010 7:15 pm -
Re: What if??
Helo :) First off Welcome to YWS. Secondly, this kinda is not a poem. So I can not review it as one, however I shall contemplate it as another matter ...
Sat Nov 06, 2010 7:12 pm -
Re: I Am Me
Hello, I am here as requested. I am sorry to say i can not offer anything more than what has been said. If I was to give you a review ...
Fri Oct 29, 2010 5:42 pm -
Re: Husk - A Poem About a Dead Friend
Hey, Everyone has focused on the positives of the poem, however it is not perfect so I will try and offer a critque you can build on. Overnight your canine ...
Fri Oct 29, 2010 4:49 pm
