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retrodisco666

  • Poetry » Other, General Re: The Dark Shadow

    Hey, I know this is your first post but i'm going to honest with you, okay? Well my first point would have to be it is a little short. Most ...

    Wed Dec 01, 2010 5:55 pm
  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: Realized

    Hey! I am here as requested. It was a short poem, which was good, but, with a little more length it could be a long poem which is great. First ...

    Tue Nov 30, 2010 6:54 pm
  • Poetry » Narrative, General Re: A Depressed God

    Hey, Poems about od I love especially in this contest,however, there is something that bothers me about it, but I don't know what. I think it could be the actual ...

    Sat Nov 27, 2010 6:51 pm
  • Poetry » Narrative, General Re: Bouquet of Bruises

    Hello! I am here as requested! I can see your problem and I do think more emotion is needed as at the moment all we have is visual imagery(I will ...

    Mon Nov 22, 2010 8:41 pm
  • Poetry » Other, General Re: An Ode to...

    Hello my dear! I would not scrap it, but as you say it does need changed. My problem with the piece is the way you have started each stanza. It ...

    Wed Nov 17, 2010 8:49 pm
  • Novel / Chapter » Action / Adventure, General Re: God's Tuesdays [1]

    hello! This was really good. I shall give my negatives first. Mrs V. I would change her name, it just doesn't sound right for the character portrayed. When he goes ...

    Sat Nov 13, 2010 9:27 am
  • Short Story » Historical Fiction, General Re: Please God

    Hey, In terms of how this was written and the content it was really really god, so I plaude you there. However, I feel like this is in the wrong ...

    Sat Nov 13, 2010 9:17 am
  • Poetry » Lyrical, General Re: You are music

    Hey, This poem, wasn't really a poem. It was a list. And didn't really have much to it. . . . I think you need to go through it and ...

    Fri Nov 12, 2010 8:45 pm
  • Short Story » Fantasy, General Re: Not Here

    Hey, I couldn't find any major flaw other than in the first two or three paragraphs a little more emotion to back up the visual would be excellent. I think ...

    Mon Nov 08, 2010 5:59 pm
  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: Taped Piano Keys

    Hello, Well first let me give you my interpertation; I felt like that this was a memory of a woman when she was a child and I felt like the ...

    Mon Nov 08, 2010 5:55 pm
  • Poetry » Lyrical, General Re: The Play of Life

    Like others have said I share thie r points. My only other nit pick would be the first two lines contradict each other. The stage isn't classed as set if ...

    Sun Nov 07, 2010 5:03 pm
  • Short Story » Romantic, General Re: Write What You Know

    As a rule I do not like the genre but I have to say this is amazing. I loved gthe opening as it was simply put and almost child like ...

    Sat Nov 06, 2010 7:15 pm
  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: What if??

    Helo :) First off Welcome to YWS. Secondly, this kinda is not a poem. So I can not review it as one, however I shall contemplate it as another matter ...

    Sat Nov 06, 2010 7:12 pm
  • Short Story » General, General Re: I Am Me

    Hello, I am here as requested. I am sorry to say i can not offer anything more than what has been said. If I was to give you a review ...

    Fri Oct 29, 2010 5:42 pm
  • Poetry » Lyrical, General Re: Husk - A Poem About a Dead Friend

    Hey, Everyone has focused on the positives of the poem, however it is not perfect so I will try and offer a critque you can build on. Overnight your canine ...

    Fri Oct 29, 2010 4:49 pm


We think in generalities, but we live in details.
— Alfred North Whitehead