ratdragoon

but the thugs were nowhere neat as accurate I assume you mean nea r . I liked it, the ending especially. The action was good, but seemed to just happen. ...

Agreeing with repeatedly-repeated comments on pace, I nevertheless liked it a lot. In certain parts of the story the suspense could be improved, but the overall image left me wanting ...

Firstly, writers are meant to maintain a ratio of reviews:own work of 2:1. Anyway, I may be being completely shallow, but i don't understand the poem. At first i thought ...

I like it, it got my attention quickly, but I agree with other repliers that you could just merge the introductions into the first few chapters. Or at least include ...

Very funny, good work. I found Leah believable, as in the first chapter. The dialogue is good, but you could improve the story by adding imagery and more description of ...

“Um…yes…I really do.” I sat. While I did, I noticed a huge window facing the forest enclosed that was enclosed in the stone walls. I didn't quite get this. Are ...

Will held his disgusting suit with one hand and grabbed the fruit with his right To me, it seemed a little bit odd to be general (one hand), then specific ...

Interesting. One of the first thing I noticed was the run-over sentences. Particularly: Sweat mingle and mix with smoke overhead vibrating to the beat that stir the air and tumble ...

“I know that, Meghan, but I she has to learn how to control her temper.” Tucker said. omit the second "I" Other then the already noted parts that need fixing, ...

I really liked it. The way you've written, as well as the actually content you've written, help me understand the main character. I look forward to reading more. I didn't ...

I felt the ending was particularly strong, and overall you used rhetorical questions very well. The Stanza about war seemed out of place, breaking the pattern of two directly sequential ...

Great idea. I quickly realised the general situation and setting, but I think it could use more detail, as could the other characters. The ending is brillent, it really let ...