questcrewforever

Heya, It's a good idea, but as far as first impressions go, i could barely stay focused long enough to read it. It was long, and the layout isn't that ...

Heya, So, i'll admit, as soon as i read Tokyo i became a million times more interested, so i might be a little biased because i'm fascinated by places like ...

This is rather good actually, true, it is overused, but you make it work =D Just a hint, be careful because at the start you miss spaces, and i'm not ...

This is a really great poem, i really liked it. Sorry, i don't really have much to say aside from that, which is a lot given i'm not that into ...

Hey! First thing i really noticed about this piece of writing is that you change tense towards the end. It starts out in past tense and ends in present. Then ...

Hey suchis, great job, can't wait to see where this is going. Are you going to continue this? Not much to say here, but try reading it out loud, this ...

Heya.This is really great, a really original and creative idea. You've got a great way of introducing your reader to the story, letting them know exactly what their situation is ...

This is good, but i think you should describe you characters a bit more, describe their situations, describe their feelings. Another thing is.. I was so confused when i was ...

Okay colours, you need to bulk up your sentences a bit and fix your spelling, also, try to make your sentences flow a bit better because right now it's really ...