Published May 2, 2011
This was a school assignment last year and not my favorite poem I've written at all. It was my first try at this style of poem, though, so I just wanted to see what I did right or wrong. The style is a little strange to anyone who hasn't read Cummings' poetry, but it was intentional.
Finally summer is near and the pond is
clear and cool and
the green grass
spreads far and w i d e
so I’llrun across the emerald ground
soon, summer comes
when we’ll be sleeping late and
swimming for hours and
the green grass will spread far and w i d e
so we will play out of doors
summer is here
when the sun is bright-and-hot-and-shining down
and childrendash to soak up the warmth and scream at nothing
grandparents smile knowingly at the other
and mothers wait for their babies to come inside for cold lemonade
and all the men play golf where the green grass
spreads out far and w i d e
when the warm season arrives
everybody will be Joyful for the break
after the chilly and wet time
that seems so far away
from the Happy days
when the green grass spreads out far and wide
summer
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Thanks for the reviews! It was intentional, so I'm glad it kind of worked.
i really like this poem! is it intentional that you put some words together and left spaces between others? if it was, it worked well because it was always where i tended to read fast anyways. i am also wondering if you meant to capatilize Happy and Joyful. ? is this because you want to put extr emphasize? i like the simple, easy style and not too many big, exhausting words. it was fun to read and flowed well. if you don't like this poem then i can't wait to read soem of the ones you do like!
-Cammie
It was intentional, mostly because my teacher told the class to do it.
This is rather good actually, true, it is overused, but you make it work =D
Just a hint, be careful because at the start you miss spaces, and i'm not sure if it's there for affect, but it just annoyed me. Check over your spelling too =)
Ok, that's the end of my relatively short rant.
Quest
Solid. The subject matter is tired, but this successfully treats it as fresh and interesting. Free verse, though wonderful, isn't very surprising, and nowadays I see more of it than any other style (just a comment on your disclaimer). A note on line breaks: I find that ending lines on prepositions or conjunctions (with the exception of "yet") weakens them and disturbs the rhythm of the poem. Something about this makes it fail to resonate with me... I just feel as though I've read this all before far too often; granted, that's just my reaction - others may very well find this highly interesting and new.
Overall, this is a good piece that can be made even better. Keep writing!