piepiemann22

Thanks, I'll have time to look over the chapters over the next few days and I'll get them patched up.

Better, better, but it still needs a bit of work, but not much. The flow was a little off throughout the whole thing. Maybe reread the thing as a whole ...

I meant no offence. Just tried to correct what I saw was wrong. If this is suppose to be someone thinking while day dreaming, maybe make that a bit more ...

Thank you very much Angel. I'm glad you like it!

I liked it. You don't meet very many young aduts open about religion, many hate it. I'm glad you wrote this, it was nice to read. See ya around.

You read my other poem, she turned me down, hard too.

It's fine to me if it's common. I do indeed understand what I wrote and who are you to say so? I write poetry as a release and a way ...

Just think about what we said and work with it. What's the point of writing it if you won't fix it when the time is due. It doesn't suck, just ...

Thanks for reading it all the same. In short, it was a school project and I had to squeeze it into about three pages making me change my story completely. ...

In this poem you'll see I organized each question word to it's own stanza. Organize your feelings in a way. Go bye time it all happened or something. Trust me, ...

Good, good. You had nice description, though it is really short. Even so, you make me want to at least read the next chapter.

I see, I think I get it now. Well, I'll be waiting for when you truly get the story going. You know, introduce the plot =)

Um, what is this? I came thinking to read a story and, well, I'm comfused. What is this? Is the main character writing this down or something? can you explain?

I understand and I know it's not my best. I started writing poetry as a way to vent my emotions. Everything is finally turning around so I can focus on ...

I'm glad you guys like it. I'll work on it right away. Any more advice?