phoenixwriter

Like the other review, I also thought Alice was dead...until the last stanza. I feel that some stanzas you try to fit in one too many syllables to read at ...

Oh my goodness. This chapter would be an ultimate masterpiece if you changed a few things. Most of the story's fine, except a few small tweaks might be needed. Question: ...

Sorry that this is going to be a short review, but I don't have much criticism for you, since you did this so wonderfully! Events moved along a little too ...

Ummm...I love the mood you're projecting, but the poem itself, though I can see it's meant to be vague, is a little TOO vague... Oh, how I love introcet weather ...

Woah, there. This is a good, strong poem. I love how you describe this frustration towards the dad, and the inner pain, as well as the pain from the injury ...

I think that the beginning telling the brother's age could be left out, or could be introduced in a different way. The furniture and lonely room could be better described ...

This is really good! I love this poem and what you're doing! Keep writing stuff like this. I was instantly caught when I read this. But I have one question ...

I feel so sorry for Jade... You wrote this very well, and I feel as though I know Jade, and I wish I could've approached her and helped her because ...

I love this short story! I feel as though you're making it like a poem, and change is good! The combination is refreshing. I think you repeat "Why doesn't he ...

First off, what an awesome poem! I love the feelings you're giving off! I love how you contrast war and peace. I do have a few things to suggest, though. ...

I like this poem a lot, but I don't really have many suggestions, since it's just fine the way it is... Maybe, "My imagination's blank," should be somewhat changed. I ...

Hi! First, I want to say I like the feeling you're giving readers as we read your words. I can feel your uncertainty beneath the poem itself. That's excellent! But ...

This is nicely written, like usual. I thought your dialogue was well-written and tasteful. Have faith in your writing. However, I did catch a few grammar errors. Nothing big. "His ...