Ummm...I love the mood you're projecting, but the poem itself, though I can see it's meant to be vague, is a little TOO vague...
Oh, how I love introcet weather
Introcet might want to be replaced with a different word, since this word doesn't have a definition on dictionary.com. If you want to invent this word, like the author of "The Jabborwocky" did, then that's fine too.
And introspective little ponds
A school of thought perhaps?
I do like this "school of thought" bit. It makes readers think a little. Is this supposed to be like a "school of fish"?
Or maybe a change
of dire spit fire routine
A spit fire routine is not really "dire." This is the part where things start to get hazy. Detail more of why this routine is important, and make some transition from the ponds to the fire.
It burns my senses dry
I'm now lying on my back
The head I got for christmas
Is staring straight at me
caressing my toe
This is fine, though I feel like you've changed the theme of the poem in the middle with the "head" for Christmas. The toe seems a little random. Again, connect the fire with this Christmas present that carresses your toe.
Glades of enigma and dust
Gone are the dishonourable snowmen
And here I sit waiting
For the sun to expand
into a possibility of catadogs
I don't really see how snowmen can be dishonorable... you could elaborate on that or possibly leave it out.
Again, you can add make-believe words, or replace them with real words since "catadogs" does not have a searchable definition online. But if this is intentional, put more make-believe words in the poem to make this seem more purposeful and intentional.
I'm sorry if I'm being harsh. Besides the choppiness of your thoughts and the toe (which each one of them is great enough for a whole separate poem for itself), this is nice reading.
Points: 1583
Reviews: 46
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