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Dear Thisbookbelongsto, I was drawn to this by the title. Nice title. All in all, I thought it was great, and parts of it really drew me in the way ...

I agree with Tori. More showy, less Telly (not the muppet). Still though, you've got the bones written down, as it were. I believe this would make a fantastic 2500 ...

Notwithstanding Octave's signature line (from On Writing, which is an excellent book on writing) This is the link I was trying to find when you logged off. Also: In places, ...

Very nicely-written. I'm not a Christian myself, although I do appreciate Christ and what he represents. I can be pretty cynical about Christianity, but I have to remember that there ...

Hello Kempton, I like this. I liked the imagery. Interesting that you capitalize "Being" in the phrase "Being aware." It makes me think of Heidegger's phrase Da-sein, which translates roughly ...

"Looking out the diamond-paned window on the other side of the small kitchen, I stare out into the gray blur of a snow flurry" Redundant - "Through the diamond-paned window ...

This has immense potential, in my opinion. What I love is that you really do get into the character of this angst-ridden teen. She interprets the teacher's greeting as condescension, ...

Heyo Purple, I'm moved by this not only because I've dated many girls who have been raped, but also because I'm the father of a brand-new little girl, and my ...

What's good about this is that you've actually written something, and the beginning shows some promise. There are a few problems that I'll point out. It's a good story premise ...

I loved it. Funny concept. What I don't like is how Death is indecisive about whether or not he hates these items on the list. I like his stoic/angelic character, ...

Oh! this is fantastic. I just got done editing half a short story on art, and sending it to someone here on YWS, so I think the page suggested your ...