pegasi_quill

Your organs are going weaker as your body awaits its final peril. Beginning the entire poem with "your" is a bit risky - I, for one, don't find it that ...

Most of you know there's this Writing Olympics event going on right now. Many of you know there was a past event which dealt with writing Japanese haiku. In trying ...

Not completely done with this piece, but wanted some feedback to see if I'm on the right track. ~ Eden ----------------------------------------- O masked face of mystery; fire and ice inside. ...

Queen of Broken Hearts So honestly, you had the cruelist of intentions Reconsider beginning your poem like this, the forst two words are redundant not to mention the worse of ...

The Place In a place where my mind often goes In a place that I go where no one knows You just told me in the opening line that your ...

The Tiger is loose in the zoo. Who would expect him not to be looking for an escape? Shorten this line, or break it down into two seperate ones, for ...

Look at the lines on your hands You'll see a story there, The insignia engraved from birth's demands You'll look, but forever stare. I'm not sure you need the "but" ...

Cal's Character Contest this is the link: #4 Word: 58: door Picture: 6 **** The door closed. Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy! I got the house to myself! The ...

I've read all of them - and most of them are on my list of favourites. I didn't like Tenth Circle as much as some of them, though. Or Nineteen ...

Cold light reigned over the motionless room. She was always, softly spoken. Do you really need the comma after "softly spoken"? Becasue of it, the rest of the line makes ...

I was forced to read it for class - and in my experience, if I'm told to read a book, it's never as good as one that I choose to ...

Just so you know - you should be posting at least 2 reviews for every piece of your own that you upload. Disneyland: the happiest, and my favorite, place on ...

Needs working on. 1) Watch your grammar - such as capitalisation. It's important. Lack of using correct grammar could result in much less reviews, not being taken seriously and so ...

The pebble bounces off his helmet And the soldier turns to me His eyes ablaze with fury He barks at me to stop But I will not. This line doesn't ...

Mom has made bangers and mash. Reckon Cinnamon's first "city meal" must be something else than burgers or barbie. Mom looks still annoyed, but that's totally in vain, I can ...