paperbackheart

It's a very nice poem and it pulls at the heartstrings. I feel a lot of your pain, and I am truely sorry that you went through that. However I ...

Nice next chapter, though it's missing the craziness from before. I mean stark raving mad crazy rant you had on. I like how you show his home life, a bit ...

Well this is an awesome piece of work. The title made me a bit wary (after all this is YWS and it could just be all sweet), but the first ...

Very interesting and abstract. I like it a lot. I don't really care to critique poetry so much, but this is very interesting. I like the imagery a lot. The ...

It's interesting and very humorous. I could imagine this happening in a bakery (though not like we would know it.) I love that you gave the cupcakes and cookies their ...

This seriously left chills running down my spine. I knew it was figurative from the very beginning, but the imagery left me breathless. It is truly amazing. It kept me ...

As Joyce said, you need to work on your punctuation as well as your capatilization. However, forget the technical things. This is an interesting plot. I like the fact that ...

Rather interesting, very interesting in fact. I'm not quite sure if I interpreted it right, but each to his own, correct? Anyway the technical thing I found was Their voices ...

Heehee I feel this way about my sister...and I'm the older one haha. This is a nice poem and I'm glad that it's short and to the point. I would ...

Interesting and very inspirational. I'm glad it's put in other because it really deserves that. I am actually going through a tough time right now and it does feel like ...

I understand the simplistic style, however I also feel that the rhymes are unnecessary and really hold back the feeling of the poem. It's personal and you feel a lot ...

It's beautiful. The voice is unique, the imagery is not overdone, and the flow is wonderful. The build up is great, and the ending is rather simple, but complete. I ...

Haha! Great beginning, I must say. It really pulls somebody and makes them curious. I already like Dilbert. He sounds like a little lovestruck puppy and Angel is oblivious to ...

It's just what Horseback said, the sentence form is a bit childish. Add a variety of lengths and play around with a few sentences. Otherwise I feel like the narrator ...

This is a great poem! You're not being unpatriotic because it's all true. If we are proud, then we should be proud of our faults also. I would love to ...