pandoraswritings

You use a lot of adjectives. (not a bad thing, just pointing it out.) I like your story, but it seems a bit middle school are fine, but the way ...

MisterWaffles, I really enjoyed reading this. I hope it is not the entire thing, though. This seems like it may be the end of a story, or possibly the beginning ...

cymbeline_x, I agree with them^^^, it could have used more puncuation. But it was a great poem. You should really try to make something more of this though. If you ...

cymbeline_x, I don't really like this, I'm sorry to say. The parenthesis are confusing. Is he/she saying this to someone and the parenthesis are only thoughts? Or what is going ...

darchoco, I somewhat like this. It's kinda shaky though. You say, "You are my life, something to live and breathe. But i don't want to hurt you, I don't want ...

When you simply say "the end,", it sounds a bit wierd to me. It seems out of place to me, I'm not sure why. Also they're^^ right, the word "fucking" ...

I think this poem was absolutely wonderful! I love how you say "I wish someone would try to break these walls of stone That surround my heart. Then they would ...

Two days had passed since the strange encounter. Mia couldn't help thinking about Danny on the way home from school. She knew she would be in huge trouble if anyone ...

Hey everybody!! finally going to get it on!!! but this one's really short so i could use some help! Chapter Three-Dinner "How was your day dear?" Mia's father, Mr.Smith, asked ...

I live for the wine of your confusion, the vague insistence of your loyalty. This line really stuck out to me. This was beautifully written, even with the very sophisticated ...

Could ever ruin somebodys life Wouldn't it be "somebody's"? Why did you lye "lye" is spelled "lie" Other than that, watch the puncuation and keep up the good work! Beautifully ...

Okay not sure if this will fit in with your poem, but where you say side and hides, it sounds odd. What about, "I put my hand to one of ...

Just looking for the memories of your love I yearn for your fingers to heal me Just wanted to point out that these two lines are written SO beautifully! Great ...

Depression is realization of reality. For some reason, I really like this. It sounds scholarly. It sounds like it's from the heart. Maybe I wanted to be in here…ever think ...

Okay, get ready, cause I have a lot. .....There he was laying on the bed, His arm scared from depression he had to get away, His tearful eyes flowed down ...