ohhewwo

Haha. I liked this. It was funny. ... Alright, that's all I got.

I liked this piece. I especially liked the line in the last stanza describing the air.

This sounds really interesting. I want here more. The title sounds cool, too. The only thing I can suggest is that you divide that up into paragraphs. It gets a ...

I liked this a lot. Nice job! shards of broken daylight fling themselves across... This line was great!

All I can say to that is I hope that you're feeling better in the next few days. I'm not gonna judge Paris Hilton, just what I've seen of her, ...

It wasn't enough to get into, but I'll be sure to read your next entry of this. The first sentence of the prologue sounded too essay-y to me. I think ...

Hey this is really good except you do need to consider that younger kids read the way where did you find that picture of rikku Black Rose??? 'scalled google.

It's definately better, but still lacking. It dosen't flow well. Ecspecially the part that says "The pressure is almost too much/to bear." It's a long(er than some) line, then a ...

I know you don't need to be told this again, but, yeah, you should scrap this and start over a lot slower. It was like you just spat out you're ...

Wow, this was a really good piece. The only thing I have to say is that the first word should be "monoton ous ," because you're trying to describe something.

You may have over-done it, but... That was just kick- ass ! I couldn't have said it better myself. Paris Hilton is the prime example of what a woman shouldn't ...

Interesting And well written. The elipses may not be a good thing. I don't know if they flow well. But otherwise, well done.

I liked this a whole lot. Very well written. That's all I really have to say. :thumb:

This was alright, but, you've really have got to make the font black. I'm seeing stripes everywhere. When she says the time, unless you meant that it was about 6:27, ...

This is a good piece. That's all I have to say. Keep writing.