ofir

Capital letters, yes. Watch that. Now, this was telly, but that was its charm. I liked the plot line a lot. The boy's character confused me a bit - why ...

It reminded me kind of Twilight, at first. I was almost about to suggest that you post in under fanfiction. But the end caught me off guard - I loved ...

I thought that this was a very good idea. What I felt lacked though was a narrator. It seemed to me like you were explaining an idea – a good ...

I thought this was very, very good. The descriptions were wonderful! I could almost see it myself. I liked the idea that he knew he was dreaming - one thing ...

I liked this a lot! I think it's amazing that you can accomplish this at your age, though age virtually says nothing. The story line was very good. I found ...

This was very good! I found myself deep into the story before I knew it. Nice descriptions, you watched the way they speak - nice. I thought that both of ...

I liked this a lot. It really did seem like Sam's point of view. The characters were really good, such as Beth, Sam's mother's behavior - a lot of mothers ...

I really like this! It doesn't feel like it ends, you might want to consider a different ending. Right now there isn't much plot to review, but I really liked ...

This was wonderful. I really like this kind of writing, and your style in general. Very good, in my eyes. There was a certain point where I felt it was ...

I normally don't read scripts - but this was compltetly awesome. It made me laugh - I actually had to hide my face so people around wouldn't see, pretend to ...

I usually don't review many poems, but this caught my eye, so forgive me if it's not very helpful. I liked the way you show different sides of "deserts" as ...

This was really very interesting. I liked the concept so far, and I do believe we're getting a glimpse iof your character. The only thing htat confused me was if ...

You asked to rip it to shreds, so... I thought it was a bit lacking in descriptions. We do not know what our MC looks like, and we don't hear ...

I felt that all the descriptions about how he "positioned himself" was a bit unnecessary, after all, your intended audience is teens right? I don't think this would be a ...

Hey, long time since I heard from you! Now, let's begin. The first scene, in my mind, was really under described. I didn't hear how Rose looked, how the adviser ...