ofir

Ok, start with the bad, move on to the good: I thought Luke was kind of too calm. I mean, he's just worried? Shouldn't he feel more strongly about it? ...

You are an extraordinary writer, you know that? I just gulp down every word, and when I'm finished I just want more. One thing I did notice was you used ...

The poking part was brilliant. Seriously. I could see it happening - it fit Lhilia and Luke's personalities so much! I also like the mean edge Luke's thoughts take when ...

I think this was amazing. Nothing short of it. Only thing that might, just might, need fixing is stressing your MC's emotions at first, on the street - I wasn't ...

Luke's voice and Liliah's voice were very different and I enjoyed reading this in that aspect. I could tell right from the start and it was a very pleasant surprise. ...

I know you already have a bunch of helpful reviews so I'm going to keep this real short. I love it. So much. It's very close to perfect, in my ...

I don't care about the paragraphs, let me say this first. I saw them, hesitated, then said, what the hell, and started reading. And then I realized you have the ...

I love this. I thought it was great. Ididn't think he fell in love too fast or it was too short for the story itself - I actually loved it ...

Okay, so I thought this was nice. The part when you talk about a 'he' is a bit confusing though, because you transfer from telling about his love that left ...

I am so sorry it took so long! Finally - I got to it :D The Elders of the Western Realms say that when a parent passes away, their children ...

I just wanted to say this really was great. I red the first line twice before realizing it was about her shoes! It was really good. The character display was ...

This is great. I loved this. I can't find anything wrong with it, since you already said you proposefully didn't describe the MC, which I'm guessing is a boy, right? ...

This was very, very good. I take a special interest [I guess you could call it that] in the hollocaust, so I can honestly say you were pretty much accurate ...

I loved the two first verses. The last one was very significant, because it tied it all up [in a very good way, by the way] but the rhymes weren't ...

I thought this was wonderful. It's a haiku, isn't it? Wonderful. The purpose of a haiku is to pass on the feeling you wrote - I could almost feel that ...