Published May 26, 2010
leaves are falling down
From trees that are in the sky
Fall is far away
*okay this was my first poem I wrote in my life. I was about 8 or 9. You can post if you want. Or just read it. But I would like some reviews if I can get some! 
*
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139,367 Literary Works • 672,541 Reviews
Hi, Jolene! I'm here to review your haiku!
Firstly, a nitpick in the title. It should be "Autumn" not "Autum".
Let's go line by line because hey, a haiku is short.
A great opening, and it is definitely related to autumn. I merely suggest a capitalization.
"In the sky" sounds forced. Maybe doing something like "in the ground".
More suggestions:
Spoiler
2. with deep roots
3. with strong roots
4. in high trees
5. amazing
6. with nature
This confuses me. If fall is so far away, they why is the title, and the rest of the haiku like it is fall?
Anyway, this was great haiku, and just had some areas that could've been improved. It's truly great, and so, I salute you!
Keep writing!
~Kitty
Thank you for your comments! I'll post some more haiku's that are more recently.
Hey there. Since this was written so long ago, some of the things I mention may not apply to you now. Still, there are a couple of things about this poem that apply to all poetry that I feel are important to point out.
The first of these is punctuation. Poetry follows the same rules of grammar as regular prose, with very few exceptions. Right now, this poem is lacking any punctuation. Punctuation in the haiku form in particular is very important; there's a distinct feature of haiku called the "cut" where one of the lines is made distinct from the other two lines by (you guessed it) punctuation. In addition, your capitalization was inconsistent, which leads to a pretty amateurish first impression.
Another thing that you should keep in mind is imagery. Since haiku are such short poems, it's particularly difficult to establish strong, unique imagery, but it is all the more necessary if you want your haiku (or any other poem) to be memorable. Right now, the imagery in this poem is a bit on the simplistic side. This isn't necessarily bad; if you had a longer poem and more room to expand upon it, it would be fine, but as I already mentioned, haiku are so brief that they need unique and memorable imagery to be remembered.
In summary, the format of your poem has a huge impact on how it is perceived and may be an important element of certain forms. In addition, unique imagery is what really makes a poem memorable and stand out, so if you want your poems to be remembered, you need unique imagery.
I thought this was wonderful. It's a haiku, isn't it? Wonderful. The purpose of a haiku is to pass on the feeling you wrote - I could almost feel that autumn day. It was great. Really good.
I don't have anything to comment on! [It was also short, so there isn't much material to work with, excuse me this time 
]
Keep writting!!!
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