ofir

Do I really have to repeat how much I love this? Only thing is changing Matt's reaction on ch. 8. He should grimace, press his lips in a tight line, ...

It's already at the bottom of the page, but it looked really interesting so I checked it out. This is really, really good! I love it! You should keep writing ...

I am so loving every minute of this! Just so you know, this is part of a chapter and not the whole thing. It doesn't feel like it's actually over... ...

You should put a dot after dead, makes it more dramatic. other than that, I think that you should tell more specific thoughts. Such as, coming to terms with the ...

Okay, so I really have no experience with poetry or lyrics but I'm going to give this my best shot. It felt as though the beat was sometimes uneven, and ...

It honestly gave me shivers. I really do hope that you have more to follow up with it, that this is just the prologue. It did what a prologue should ...

Wow. Amazing, honestly. I LOVE it, I- I- *stammering* wow. Ok, *trying to be rational* your adjectives were amazing. I wish I could come up with that. During the start ...

Umm, wow. Seriously. Love it, you have no idea how much. Okay, so I don't have any critiques this time. I got to know you MC, got to like him, ...

Have a good vacation!! Now, I still love the whole general idea of the story, but I liked this chapter a little less. I'd appreciate a little descriptions on everything, ...

Yet again, I love this!! Let that be known first before I give a few criticisms. Okay, so, You had a few minor spelling mistakes as in, you forgot to ...

Hello, well, I'd firstly like to point out that you missed a lot of things like putting periods instead of commas and all of that nonesense. Work on that. Okay, ...

Hello there! I am here to review your piece, shall we? Okay, so the introduction was rather telly, like a children story 'once upon a time...' I didn't even realise ...

Oh. So he kills the one person that's nice to him? Kinda makes you want to stop helping people... Anyways, I found it sort of disturbing, but otherwise nice. It ...

I like the fact that you tell so much in the prologue, it gives you a safe feeling as you enter the story. Other than that, it was pretty nice. ...

Never ever stop posting this! In simpler words, I completely adore it; I love it! You had a few minor grammar mistakes, you put a dot and didn't capitelize but ...