Published June 7, 2009
I look before me now and I see a velvet dress . I will wear this dress and it will wear me.
It is of fine cotton and of heavenly transparent cloth's that lash from the waste down giving it
an angelic look almost weightless . Feeling as if it could dance with the winds melody .
It is tightly fit from the waste up.It is strapless. Latching on with strings that sparkle with silver dashes.
By the side sleeps a flower brooch ,softly,as if too caring to tear a string or cause a hole.
It is laid upon there as if put there gently and with precise measurement.
It is the most beautiful piece of the dress and yet to the human eye looks as if it could be easily
stripped from the warmth of the dress or simply fly off to its desire. That is the magic of the flower.
Its beauty is like no other , its tenderness is like that of a baby’s smile, it looks so fragile. But it is misunderstood.For how could something so tender and beautiful be capable of possessing such a masculine trait such as that of unrecognizable strength?
And I wanted to prove to all that there is such a thing.
For one could never judge a book by its cover but by reading the story laid upon it by its creator . Those who are true readers will see the special in each book . And as souls on this planet we are the writers of our own book .In which we write our past , present, and future depending on our actions.
And I have yet to begin my first chapter but I am a thief in the art of disguise , for my cover I have learned to portray well.
Our life’s are our book, our body’s are our cover.
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137,435 Literary Works • 672,020 Reviews
Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!
Anyway let's get right to it,
Well this is quite the story here. The formatting at the start has ended up going a little weird but given that it hasn't broken in that way for the next couple of paragraphs I am going to assume it is some form of mistake in how its displayed rather than intentional because it really doesn't seem to be doing all that much besides making this slightly harder to follow.
Moving past that little issue there I have to say I love the message this is trying to convey here. Its very clearly not quite meant to be a story so much as something of a little monologue almost on the nature of people and I think you've really hit it deep in some spots here. It really resonates quite powerfully with us as readers.
I think you've got yourself a really strong message in this piece about us as humans and life and how its all presented to the outside world and other humans. It really does shine through quite neatly with the bits of imagery you've incorporated to capture it all especially at the start there. Overall, its a really moving little piece that tells you quite a lot despite being quite so small.
Aaaaand that's it for this one.
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Harry
Hello,
well, I'd firstly like to point out that you missed a lot of things like putting periods instead of commas and all of that nonesense. Work on that.
Okay, now that that's out of the way, here's my review:
The teller tells the story with such... such an arrogant voice. High words, high langue, high everything.
The begining is what I really, really don't like about this piece. It is, it is, it is...! do you want to drive us insane? enough with the descriptions of the dress, and enough writing it is, all the time!!! By the way, you didn't show the crossing from talking [for forever, I might add] about the dress, to the whole book cover thing.
This is supposed to be a moving piece, it is supposed to make the reader want to reconsider his life, right? I'm terribly sorry but this piece failed to give me that impression.
All in all, if you fix it for a little while, I'm sure something great could come of it. Your writing style is actually nice, only it would be nice in a book about other tings such as princesses and 'girl meets guy' stories. I didn't think it fit here. But then again, this is only my opinion, you do not have to listen to it.
have a good day and keep writing!
ofir