octocoffee

Thank you guys for the suggestions and feedback!

Thanks both for your input, you guys are dolls :) I'm certainly considering your points, although I have yet to edit this properly. silented - I've been doing well, much ...

Hey afeefah! Sorry for the wait, but I’m here now :D He seems to guess my thoughts and grins at me, baring his needle-pointed teeth, revelling in the fear I ...

Well, thank you for reviewing and saying you liked it! There won't be any more at the moment, until I feel more comfortable with writing in a formal tone while ...

Thank you for the review! I'm glad you enjoyed it. Yeah, I do agree that the similes feel pretty heavy, but I'm not sure how to fix it.

Alrighty, I'm not sure if this is considered bumping, but I separated the piece into sections and added and edited some places. Hopefully the message is a little clearer this ...

Thank you muunilist for the critique! I found it very helpful. I do agree, the middle does seem very jumbled and I can certainly see where the reader would become ...