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Re: Parameters for Starship Excavation
This was a gripping story. I admire the thought that went into the construction of such a detailed world with languages, cultures, and even hints of social classes. The descriptions ...
Jul 14, 2016 -
Re: A Sea of Kisses and Faint "I Love Yous"
3 small notes before I give my general impressions of this story. 1. IMO this should be age-restricted to some degree. There's a lot of implied sexual activity and it'd ...
May 16, 2016 -
Re: Feel Good Inc/ Character Introduction
Was this the song?: I love the world building in this. It gives you just enough of a taste of the world to tease you into wanting to learn more. ...
May 16, 2016 -
Re: to my parents, who will never like me
I always come into poetry that reeks of teenage angst with a helping spoonful of skepticism, but I was forced to abandon that cynicism because of how well done this ...
Mar 31, 2016 -
Re: The Boy Who hated Lefties
Though I am by no means a poet, I have a few criticisms for you: 1. Religion does not rhyme with delusion. 2. There isn't much of a rhythm to ...
Feb 7, 2016 -
Re: Strings
This was a well-made short story, but something just didn't click for me. I'll try to explain why. Firstly and most importantly, I believe that the "strings" metaphor was too ...
Feb 6, 2016 -
Re: The story of my life from a comfy chair: Case file 2
I was browsing through the green room when the title of this story caught my eye, and I thought I might give you some technical advice! I'll write out things ...
Jan 13, 2016 -
Re: Breaker of Chains - Chapter Eighteen
Before I start my review, I should say that I haven't read the previous chapters of this book. After reading this, I might though! I have few significant negative things ...
Nov 29, 2015 -
Re: Another Short Film Script
Why is everything written in all-caps? It makes this difficult to read without imagining all of the people shouting. There are a couple instances of confusing word choice in this ...
Nov 28, 2015 -
Re: Everyone faces me
While I disagree with the content present in this piece, I still want to give you a fair and technical review so that you can learn to better express your ...
Nov 28, 2015 -
Re: A Letter from Lancelot- Revised 2
I like this short story, but it flowed poorly and as a result was difficult to follow. There are several factors that contributed to the weak structure that your story ...
Nov 28, 2015 -
Re: The Valley and the Mountain
Hello! To preface this review I would first like to state that overall I would consider this a good piece of literature. However there are some details that need to ...
Nov 26, 2015 -
Re: The quiet girl chapter one
There are many problems with this, but I'm going to be as helpful as I can and give specific, constructive criticism. Don't think I'm shooting you down, I'm just trying ...
Oct 26, 2015 -
Re: The Cruelty of Women
Wow! I'm very impressed by this work. You very naturally and seamlessly jumped between dialog and a character's reaction to said dialog. I want to give you some critical feedback ...
Oct 24, 2015 -
Re: The Darkest of Dreams- Chapter 1
Hello, I'm nosirrah. I just joined the site a few minutes ago, but as a fellow aspiring author I thought I should give you my input before I called it ...
Oct 24, 2015
