z

Young Writers Society


E - Everyone

Everyone faces me

by truealpha


Humanity is by far the largest and most devastating stain on the earth as a whole. The amount of damage you cause every millisecond is outrageous. But yet you all thrive… well not all. For some reason even though you can feed everyone people still starve. But even with all your flaws, you all are still the greatest source of entertainment. Every single day it’s always new, it’s either something makes this, someone destroys that, somebody defiles this, she’s a he, that act is now immoral it goes on and on. And the rules you have are just adorable “politics” and “laws” confiding yourself from complete freedom is really interesting. This ranges from being logical to downright silly and the fact that you can your livelihood can be taken from you because you don’t follow. Then you go on about the “this is the land of the free” or it’s for the sake of “order” oh these laws would make sense if the world had any bit of order. But I’m not saying this to complain or to criticize; if I wanted you all gone you’d all be gone.

Now you honestly must be wondering who I or what I am. Well everyone knows about me or well will know about me. Almost everyone one will try to avoid me. And some of you actually think you “cheated” me. I am Death yes death; I am the being that causes almost every death ever. Now why almost? Well if I caused every single death there wouldn’t be any left for you. When left in your semi competent hands you can really entertaining to watch. Honestly I had honestly seen some interesting ways you all kill each other. I favor no one in any way possible no is picked specifically to die; I just choose which string to cut. But you people your killing patterns aren’t completely at random. And sometimes your reasoning behind them is only ones that you understand: racism, ulterior motives or sometimes just on pure dumb emotion. Now that’s a lot more interesting to watch then animals, they’ve become so predictable over the years. The strong eat the weak, the weak run away from the strong, they mate and the cycle goes on and on. I can’t depend on them to be interesting the only time those things do anything worthwhile is spread disease. I don’t even need to pay attention to them considering you’re doing my job for me and killing them all yourself.

Speaking of killing animals, Mother Nature wants me to eradicate you all from the face of the planet. Her blind rage with you people is outrageous and hilarious. You all have done nothing but slowly destroy the planet the ozone, the littering, the oil spills. No amount awareness can ever reverse the damage you’ve done with the planet. She has begged constantly for me to whip you all out. This as you can see you I haven’t and because of that she’s wanted you all to suffer for over a millennium. And that’s why natural disasters are a thing. Earthquakes, hurricanes, and tornados so on and so forth I can go on and on. That’s just Mother Nature’s way of being bitter that I won’t kill you all. In all honesty it’s a rather good way to take out her frustration out cause I’m almost positive she would be yelling at me even more then she already does. But they are really sights to been seen and she just doesn’t hit everyone with massive storms. If she did that then you guys would adapt too quickly so she evens it out. She’s doing a good at it to, I mean every time a major storm happens you all act surprised like it’s never happened ever and then you send prayers out to those who lost their homes and lives then you rebuild repeat. She really just wants to make a massive storm that incases and entire country but you guys would see that from a mile away and hide underground. So she takes her little victories against humanity as she gets them. It’s a shame that she doesn’t find you as entertaining as I do. The only thing she even cares about is her precious simple plants and predictable animals. Well I shouldn’t say that, if she was the one talking she would probably say that the only thing I care about is myself and my own entertainment and nothing else matters.

But enough about us, let’s talk about you people more and how you all view me. The most known thing you all see me as is a skeleton wearing a robe and carrying a scythe. Now I don’t care what you all think I look like I just find it odd that you all think I’m apparently something that almost every breathing thing had. I’m something that can be broken, something that can be damaged, and something that can be frail. I don’t feel insulted by any of these you don’t; you can’t and won’t ever know what I look like. But in all honesty that sounds rather underwhelming. But I really can’t insult your creativity you people basically gave me a name. I really didn’t need one but now that I do it make things a lot more interesting. And oh you have, some of you even have the gall the worship me, to praise me, to even make sacrifices to me. Not just to but tons of ‘gods’ out and about, you even made sacrifices for the sun. A ball of fire in the sky and you gave it so much. Oh those were the days, you guys killed yourself a lot more then I have well you still all kill each other a lot more then I do at this point. But now you just do it with a lot more flare. But no matter what no one will ever hold a candle to me. With something as insignificant as a flick of the wrist every single one of you would cease to exist. But if I did that where would my entertainment go. So you all can live for now.


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77 Reviews


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Sun Jan 10, 2016 8:53 am
RadiantShadow says...



Wow I really liked this, it is nice to see someone writing in death's perspective :) I look forward to reading more of your work. I am not going to write a full review as I don't really see the need. Keep writing ~RS




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Sun Nov 29, 2015 5:23 am
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crobbins wrote a review...



What an interesting piece. The piece being told from Death's perspective made the piece unique- I found as I was reading I was trying to distinguish who Death was and who it was portrayed as, over its views on humanity. If that was what you were aiming to do (tell us about death,) then job well done.

While there are some grammar mistakes, most of them are little. Such as when you said:
"She's doing a good at it too. . ." (Paragraph Three.)
However, I found this error when I was reading for the second time, as my mind filled in the blank when I read it the first time. Maybe that's what happened with you when you were proofreading, (your mind filled in the blank automatically.) To fix errors like that, maybe have a friend read it before you post. Or give yourself a day then re-read.

While I felt that you did a good job keeping the mood in this piece, I felt that some sentences felt a little, well, misplaced. An example of this I felt was your last paragraph's first sentence. The piece up until that point was very serious, and Death was defining his power over us. However, when I read that sentence, the character Death was made out to be seemed less intimidating. I feel like that sentence belonged in a more friendly piece, over a thought-provoking and interesting one like this. Maybe try to read over your transitions before you post, and make sure they keep the mood of the piece the same.

Anyways, your ideas were mostly all there for this piece, and I really enjoyed it. I admire your ability to keep the flow, and to keep your idea fresh and not dry and dull. So overall, I found this piece very interesting and an overall good read!




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15 Reviews


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Sun Nov 29, 2015 4:31 am
nosirrah123 wrote a review...



While I disagree with the content present in this piece, I still want to give you a fair and technical review so that you can learn to better express your ideas. It would be morally wrong to neglect reviewing you just because you and I have different perspectives on the world.

The most obvious thing that needs to be improved in this short story is grammar. For your sake I'll list a few examples.

"She’s doing a good at it to,..."
(You forgot "job")

"Not just to but tons of ‘gods’ out and about,..."
(Forgot "me")

"I don’t feel insulted by any of these you don’t; you can’t and won’t ever know what I look like." (improper use of a semicolon)

"I favor no one in any way possible no is picked specifically to die..."
(Missing word or punctuation? I don't understand what you were trying to say.)

"...“laws” confiding yourself from complete freedom..."
(You wanted confining)

Strangely, it seems like many of the errors present in the writing are due to a word that somehow got deleted. You should proof-read your writing to make sure that little errors like this don't escape you.

Your paragraphs were also way too long. You should be breaking them up far more often. Huge blocks of text like these make it difficult to read, as one can lose track of which line they are reading.

Your structure was solid and your thoughts flowed well from one portion of the text to another. If you were to just review the basics then you'd be a solid writer. Try reading what you write out-loud to yourself or someone you know. You can catch a lot of the simple errors by ear. Have fun and good luck with your future endeavors.




truealpha says...


Um thank you for the review. Just so you know my views on religion, death, society and just about everything in this story is almost completely nonexistent I just wrote this from the perspective of what I thought death would be like.



nosirrah123 says...


Oh I thought you were trying to use the perspective of Death to impart a gloom-and-doom worldview. My bad for assuming.



truealpha says...


No problem lol



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28 Reviews


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Sun Nov 22, 2015 8:15 pm
truealpha says...



As you can see I toke a little break from slit so I can work on other things





You sound like you're becoming emotionally involved with the custard.
— Nikki Morgan