nixonblitzen

Hello, there. I have to say I was intrigued by this being a Star Wars screenplay. My main question is, how authentically Star Wars is this supposed to be? Just ...

I am surprised to find so many Gatsby-haters here. I guess I thought it was more or less universally well-liked. I love this book. It made an indelible on my ...

Yeah, I feel like at times it tries a little to hard to be deep and philosophy-ish. Especially at the beginning, I felt like I was getting bombarded with little ...

Bonjour, Jules. Let's start out with the nitpicks. “Ugh!” Ryan slammed to the ground, blood around her lips and pain in her stomach. It's probably just me, but when I ...

Hello, angelwing! I've marked the grammatical & spelling errors, and also showed you how I would reword some things the make them sound better. There I was , standing at ...

Hello! I liked this. It wasn't as far-fetched as I had expected! Andromeda touched on a lot & I agree. One other thing was, for the first half of the ...

Hello Twilight Dog! Welcome to YWS. So, ditto on everything Juniper said. This poem doesn't have very good rhythm. I find it helpful to read my poems aloud. It usually ...

Hello, mayonnaise! I've never critiqued a script before, so I'm not sure how helpful this will be... Is this a standalone scene, or is it part of a play? I'd ...

Hi there, Kiki! "You look adorible trying to act funny," she said. Should be "adorable". "Yeah, my humor never seems to translate with others." I said, blushing and moving my ...

Hello, there! Let's start out with the nitpicks, shall we? The way your hand always find mine, Subject-verb disagreement. Do you mean "Hand find s " or "Hand s find"? ...

Hello! Is this a known structure, or did you make it up? It looks nice, the way the stanzas are all the same shape, but I don't know if it ...

Welcome to YWS, Werewolf_Girl! Don't forget that you should do two reviews for every thing you post. That way everyone will get reviews - and reviewing really helps to improve ...

Wow. I love this. I don't know why, but it gives me kind of a Beatnik, On the Road vibe. I think the strongest thing about this is the narrative ...

It's just so awful. What I'd really like to know is how you knew how to describe labor! The descriptions were really well done - grotesque and lovely. I like ...

Jon talked about the "you" in this poem as a she. Funny, I thought of it as a he the whole time. Which is it? I found the first section ...