myfreindsavamp

Wouldn't Bella have felt at least a little sympathy or guilt about Jacob. And why would he come? Wouldn't he have intervened? I mean come on, you know he would ...

Okay first off: Wouldn't Marie have been traumatized or is the flash back going back further or not? If not then she should be at least a little traumatized. And ...

A letter mailed to a funeral To be promptly stamped, then die (What's this mean. Because this made no sense at all.) Police hearts and broken cars pass Police cars ...

I’d lie on my back in that meadow all day, -isn't your lie supossed to be lye or some thing like the oone you mean? That's so cute! I love ...

[quote="Adam_Atlantian"] It has a nice feel to it. I like the prologue, it sets the mood really well for this story so far. I would like to see some more ...

with ballet leaps and summer salts and back flips cartwheels, you name it my heart was doing it. - Ay! That has something wrong with it but I'm not sure.... ...

Is there any typos or other mistakes? Just wondering! -Yes. Yes there is! :lol: I cant pretend to understand what I’m doing. -can't I understand this poem to an extent. ...

{ reright a little}As [/i]I lay on this bed I feel a cold presence A ghostly spirit, A dead silence I open my eyes to see nothing but darkness. The ...

And pray for a better view I think we all pray for a better view, but what better view? And long to silence the world Silencing the world would be ...

[quote="thestarseye"]You tried so hard but it wasn’t enough You relies that your hopes were just a bluff [quote] This should be changed. I wasn't sure how because this was confusing... ...

Surely this is about a crush? The love the part about the paints running together. It kinda reminds me of one of my crushes.... :lol: I didn't really enjoy the ...

This was amazing! I only saw one mistake. His love still knew That if her left He would come undone This either needs to be "That if she left" or ...

With the falling of the snow comes silent blanket of white powder that brings a certain joy. Snow flakes land in my hand only to melt away. The free falling ...

Very beautiful. I didn't catch a single misstake but that may be that my eyes aren't sharp enuff.*shrug* I loved how the naration on how she got back at the ...

Her body was broken and she laid on the floor broken and desperate Her body was crushed and she laid on the floor broken and desperate I'd have to say ...