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music*potato

  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: Ill Be There For you

    all considered, it has a really sweet topic, but i think that the verses don't flow quite right. what i would try to do is just read it aloud a ...

    Apr 30, 2009
  • Poetry » Other, General Re: ♥Love♥

    im a little confused as to how you mesured your stanzas.. they're all very caddywompus and cadenceless (i don't think that's a word) it seems at some times they rhym, ...

    Jan 27, 2009
  • Poetry » Lyrical, General Re: Stand Still

    This is really beautiful, though im still a little confused as to what it's about.... in the stanza "Listen to the silence The world stopped turning The clocks stopped ticking ...

    Jan 27, 2009
  • Poetry » Lyrical, General Re: Enduring Heart

    i love this poem! but, "though frightening be the trips" sounds a little awkward, and i would change" and if it shall falter" to 'and shall it ever falter' just ...

    Jan 21, 2009
  • Poetry » Narrative, General Re: Like a Child

    wow.. this is beautiful... even though I'm not at all a religious individual, this poem is really quite heart lifting, and gives me hope.. like *DaughteroftheMoon* said... i think that ...

    Jan 17, 2009
  • Poetry » Lyrical, General Re: For Tomorrow

    wow.. i really like this poem!!!! it's really fun too read.. it kind of makes you want to just sit there and read it through aloud repetitively until your mother ...

    Jan 17, 2009
  • Poetry » Narrative, General Re: The Music of Dusk

    um this is beautful,but i was just wondering, is it about a rape? cuz if not i would try to revise it so it sounds a little less like that ...

    Jan 13, 2009
  • Poetry » Lyrical, General Re: Save us by the bell

    i love this like crazily!!!!! it's great! i love how it flows, i love the subject i love everything about it! it also sounds like you know alot about music.. ...

    Jan 13, 2009
  • Poetry » Other, General Re: I lose

    i must say that this is a lovely poem, simple and short, but this line That saying that so loud leaves one a target. i find is to long and ...

    Jan 13, 2009
  • Poetry » Lyrical, General Re: What Lies Beneath?

    i really like this peom, it has good meaning, and good questions, that i do think that everyone, somewhere in there hearts want to know the answers too, even though ...

    Jan 13, 2009
  • Poetry » Other, General Re: Violin-Fiddle

    i find this poem interesting, no in a bad way though.. it's nice to read a poem about something other then love or death or abuse.. most poems i read ...

    Jan 13, 2009
  • Poetry » Lyrical, General Re: Broken Dreams

    Life does go on, as we knew it would. All the pain we took, for the greater good. I think that this opening line was really powerful, it was simple, ...

    Jan 9, 2009
  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: War (Ask Me No Questions)

    A.L.I.Y.A. THIS IS SO FREAKING INCREDIBLE!!!!!!! I CAN'T EVEN TELL YOU hoW AMAZING!!!! i mean i knew you could write, but damn girl this is da BOMB!!!! you are a ...

    Jan 9, 2009
  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: Tonight

    this is a really beautiful poem!!!!!! i love it cuz i can totally empathize with the charecter! how were you inspired to write this?? i like how you used so ...

    Jan 9, 2009
  • Poetry » Lyrical, General Re: The Wind

    this is really lovely and touching.. it seems like you picked out the words carefully(even if you didn't) but i think you should try to come up with a stronger ...

    Jan 8, 2009


"would you still love me if i was a worm" yeah babe i would AND id get you your own compost bin so we could enter gardening competitions together
— Corvid