moosiegirl

Ahahaha... this was slightly disturbing but for the most part, extremely entertaining. I agree with my fellow YWS members that yes some grammar and wording could be tweaked a little, ...

Haha I

First of all, I really enjoyed this. It kinda reminded me of twilight... something in that general area. I would really like it if you continued this story and developed ...

This is a very nice story for a first effort, but in my opinion, it seems too much like a chain letter. Where's the developing plot in the story, the ...

this was good but there are alot of grammer mistakes also there are alot of plot difficulites and the story is in second person and that just makes my head ...

This would be a pretty good piece. You just need to get more descriptive words and get rid of all the grammer mistakes and voila! You suddenly have the next ...

this poem really fits my expressions right now... i think you did a fab job and well i can't really think of something to critisize.... i'll get back 2 u ...

I think your poem was pretty good in terms of content but the subject material maybe more appropriate in Lyric Poetry or some place like that, but that's just my ...

first of all plz get some punctuation it would make it so much easier to read. I agree with Ginger that you overdid it a little bit in some parts. ...

Really realized what we are doing to this planet. So I wrote this. Not much but yeah. I hate life I hate life It’s not real. It is a waste ...

I guess for most ppl they would like the song but I'm in a really good mood and I don't feel like reading this stuff so maybe that's why. Your ...

this is like emo music right? but it is deep, lol forgive my pun. try to put less darkness into your song but some parts dont make sense such like ...