mizz-iceberg

OK space your writing into smaller paragraphs. It's a huge chunk right now. I usually don't mind reading it that way, but not only are my eyes really tired right ...

I tried to understand what the beings are. I couldn't. However I believe everything does not have to make sense in poetry. I am a strong believer in that, but ...

I have not read your previous chapters. I do have a lot to say about this one but I will first read the other ones and the let you know ...

Very beautiful and touching! I especially liked the first few paragraphs. Around the middle (forgive me for being so harsh) i started to get bored. However I read the whole ...

Awwee so sad. Yes it's cliche but I still really enjoyed it. The best pieces we write are when we are bored, like during Human Anatomy for example. Haha! If ...

hehe yes you did post in the wrong place but no worries! Great poem. great imagery. Is the title of the poem Forget Me Not, or Music of a Silent ...

Wonderful!! I really like how you described the factory. Yes Emily, she's personifying the factory. There were a few phrases in the poem that I'm sure I won't forget. You ...

I agree with Sohini, you need to capitalize your 'I's. I noticed some other grammatical mistakes. But mainly I think your poem doesn't sound too poem-ish...? All your verses are ...

You live in San Fransisco? Great imagery and description. I agree about with previous review. You need to find a rhythm. I loved your poem!! And you have described all ...

Simply WOW! Your writing shows that you really think like that while you are among nature. You don't really just take a walk, you look around, feel the night! Amazing ...

Now some action!! I really didn't know you were going to add that. Not too cliche!! I love to be surprised while I'm reading. I agree with all the above ...

The Negatives You are basically TELLING about Mary. Try and show your readers, her life her feelings through your writings. Maybe a scene with her father when she comes home. ...

Awsome! I love your style and your story...the whole Plot. There are a few grammar mistakes and some awkward wording but other than that i just love it! I can't ...

Azila is write. The sentences are a bit too long at some places. I strongly believe in praising all good piece of writing. It really helps the writer. It sure ...

Omg so sweeet. Makes me think about all that my Mom has done for me. Thanks so much Rosie! (I guessing that's your name from reading your writing) I'm so ...