miyaviloves

This was a sweet little story but I noticed some of the following things: our first job through our 20th job. - eh? I dont get that :S it had ...

Please review two other pieces of work before you post your own stuff. Anyway, like Suzanne said that writing got really annoying and towards the end I just skipped it, ...

I don't think it was too short atall, I think it was just right, and I love the imagery it creates. I do however feel that there is something missing ...

Ok that was short, wayyyy too short, I know it is a prologue, but prologues are supposed to give us some background information, this really didnt give me anything. there ...

Thatannagirl picked out the mistakes I found, so all I can say it that I really loved this, especially the dialogue, it helped add more to the characters. Also really ...

That was sweet, much better than your other piece, and I really likes the ending of this. The dialogue worked well, sometimes it dosen't in poetry but in this it ...

I think the mistakes made have already been pointed out by Esme, so there isnt really much else for me to critique here. but I took the time to read ...

I really really liked this. I liked the lack of punctuation (other than the few feull stops) it made the pace really quick in my head and it worked so ...

Sorry but I didnt like this atall, I dont think the repetition worked it just got really annoying. I didint think there was any real meaning behind it, and what ...

It is hard to critique this as it is such a personal thing to you, and I think this is written very well. Although I think it would be nice ...

I really really liked this, and for a short piece (I assume you are not going to be adding anything else???) it works really well. You said it was a ...

I really really liked this, your style of writing is effective, short sentences in this case work really well. Im sad that this is a true story though :( She ...

This suprised me, I thought at the beginning it was going t obe from the point of view from someone at the Columbine High School shootings or something. Either way ...

I'm back and I am ready to claim back my title of biggest Lyla fan! MUWAHAHAA! I thin kthat you are really developing the characters well, and I love how ...

I have a confession to make. I never really tried to save him. I actually am the one that committed the crime. I killed him. This thought has been probing ...