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Young Writers Society



Darkfall

by Ryukun7


I have a confession to make. I never really tried to save him. I actually am the one that committed the crime. I killed him. This thought has been probing the back of my mind ever since that day…The sad thing is, we were almost true friends. Well, he was the closest person to ever becoming my friend. After all, I am an assassin and he was my target. Yes, I remember that day all too well.

“Darkfall you’re needed, “ one of my partners informed me. Darkfall is my code name, since all of us assassins left our names behind long ago. I started walking down the blackened hallway towards the boss’s locked down room.

My boss was always something of a mystery. None of us really knew his actual name, how he stared the business, or even what he looked like. He preferred to wear a black-hooded cloak, so he was just simply known as Enigma.

I had finally reached the door and quickly tapped the code in. A fowl stench entered my nose, as it always did, when I strode into his room. It smelled of dust and decomposing material. For all I knew, he could have had a dead body in there. I have a mission for you Darkfall,” a voice whispered from the shadows. “Yes?” I questioned. “You’ll be after this man, “ he announced holding up a picture of a person with brown hair and dark blue eyes. It actually surprised me for a moment since the guy was around the same age as me, but the initial shock faded as I realized I had to focus on the mission at hand. “We believe he saw us killing another victim in our last mission. We can’t allow him to inform the police now, can we?” Enigma finished. “No sir,” I responded and turned towards the door to leave. “Don’t fail, this mission could cost us this entire business, “ he threatened from behind. “I know, I won’t fail,” I said walking out. Unfortunately, these words were true.

It was hours before my target arrived. I had been waiting impatiently upon the roof of a building, occasionally ducking behind part of the wall to avoid being seen. When he finally appeared, he was with a friend. They were chatting away so I figured I would wait some more. This greatly irritated me, of course. Being an assassin, I considered killing his friends as well just in case he had told his pal about us, but since the boss hadn’t said anything I decided against it. While waiting, I double-checked the photo of my target once more. This was definitely the guy. Under the picture, I glanced at his name and information. “Aaron Stevens. Age:21. Family: Wife Alicia/two children Julie and Derrick. A pang of guilt shot through me like a jolt of electricity. He had family. Up until now, all of my targets were older men that had great wealth and no family. But this Aaron, he was just an everyday man with children, no significant amount of money, no special ability, he didn’t even do anything for sure, yet I was assigned to murder him.

I was jerked out of my thoughts once I no longer heard their voices. Carefully looking over the wall, I saw his friend scuttling away in somewhat of a hurry. Now was the perfect opportunity, he was alone and it was turning night, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. He began to walk away as well, so I knew I had no choice. Using my well-honed skills, I jumped off the roof and landed directly in front of him. Knowing this would frighten him into yelling, I covered his mouth quickly and tied it along with his arms. My hand was on the gun holstered on my right side under my coat. Slowly, I started to pull it out. For once, I found I didn’t want to finish my job, but I thought of what Enigma would do to me.

Suddenly, police sirens screeched past. I couldn’t risk it, so I grabbed my target and snuck down an abandoned subway. It took a few minutes before the police passed, so I was silent. Finally they were gone. I turned towards my victim, and he was strangely closing his eyes and bowing his head. I tore off the cloth that was in his mouth and asked, “What do you think you’re doing!?” He continued mumbling something seemingly to himself until he finished, looking up at me, and answered, “I was praying.” His calmness threw me off a bit and I didn’t know much about religion, but I said, “You think that will save you?” “Yes, “ he said without hesitating. Angered at his defiance and forgetting about how I was feeling earlier, I pulled my gun out, and pointed it at his face. “Let’s see how you’ll be saved now, “ I sneered. He looked at me still with sympathetic eyes, no he looked through me, and softly spoke, “I’m so sorry.” Sorry? “What are you talking about!?” I insinuated. “I’m so sorry for the path you’ve chosen, may God forgive you,” he answered. So that praying wasn’t for himself but for me!? I was curious how he was so worried for me and not concerned about his own life as if he was prepared to accept death. “Do you want to die!?” I fumed. “I’ve lived a good life, with two wonderful children, a beautiful wife, and I know God will watch over them. I’m ready to go if that’s what He wants.”

My mouth must have fell open. This man, Aaron Stevens, baffled me. He cared more for his family and this God than himself. I never knew my parents that well since they died when I was a young child and I ran away from my foster parents. I also didn’t have a wife or children, so I didn’t understand any of this especially about God, but oddly enough, I guess out of pure curiosity, I wanted to know. I wanted to know where this common man gained his strength and wasn’t afraid to face death. It was then the I realized, I was the one scared of death. There was nothing for me after death, but for Aaron Stevens there was a haven, a salvation waiting for him. At that moment, my life began changing forever. “Tell me about this God, “ I demanded. He smiled and I had no idea why, but in that blackened, quiet subway he told me all about his religion, his beliefs, and about God. After hearing his story of how much he cared for God and how much God cared about all people, I cried for the first time in my life.

There was a few moments of silence as my tears fell, and then a familiar voice echoed through the darkness. It was Enigma’s voice coming from my communication device. “Darkfall, did you finish your job yet?” my boss said impatiently. Wiping the tears and clearing my throat I stated, “Yes, he’s dead.” “Good. I expect to see you within an hour back here.” He had a strange tone but maybe I was paranoid.

I had untied Aaron when he first stared telling me about his story, so now all there was left to do was let him go. “Aaron, you can leave, and…I apologize…for what I did.” This was difficult for me to say, but I felt like I had to. “Thank-you,” he replied. I wanted to say the same, but I think he already knew how I felt. Aaron then headed towards the exit; free to see his family.

There was a sudden pounding of footsteps and in a flash several assassins and Enigma himself stood in the entrance. They must have found out from the communication device! How could I be so stupid!? They slung out their guns, but I couldn’t allow this to happen so I jerked mine out too. I shot before they could fire, but the worst thing that could happen did. Enigma shielded himself by throwing Aaron in front of him. The bullet, the bringer of death and sorrow, took Aaron’s life at that very second.

Their guns then all pointed at me and I was paralyzed. I couldn’t, I didn’t help Aaron. All I could think about was how Aaron’s family would feel, but I remembered how he talked about being with God. “I guess it’s my time too…,” I whispered. Then, as their metal missiles hit me, all went black.

It has been two months since I was in the hospital recovering from the injuries and wrote that journal entry. I sit here today writing this, wishing everything would have been different. Enigma and his men weren’t after me because they believe me to be dead, but that made me feel all the more guilty. I have written to Aaron’s family recently, to tell them the story, and they forgave me. I knew they would, but the guilt is still too much to bare. Of course, I took Aaron’s words to heart and currently I’m working at a church in the countryside. Strange how different my life is now. Every once in a while I’ll cry, but only when no one sees me. God though, is in my life and with him I can make it through.

One more thing that Aaron said not long before he passed away, was that names were important and that I needed a real one. I went with the name he suggested since I couldn’t recall my own. So these days I’m David.

This will probably be my last journal entry because the writings carry too many memories, but I wanted to dedicate the last words to Aaron.

Thank-you for showing me the way, and may God watch over you Aaron.

-David

10-7-90


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34 Reviews


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Tue Jun 03, 2008 8:38 pm
Love2act4ever wrote a review...



Wow. Danielle that was SO good. I only found one error...

It was then the I realized, I was the one scared

That the “the” to be changed to “that”. I know, it was only a typo.

Danielle, that story was SO good. I was surprised by the twist how the boss threw his body in front. I do have a question...was David based off of me? lol.

Great JOB!

Josh




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Tue Jun 03, 2008 7:30 pm
vamplord12 wrote a review...



this was a very good story...i liked how there was the twist on the life of an assassin and what could potentially happen if you were to become one. the name Darkfall really works as a code name for an assassin too. as does Enigma. though there is one thing:

“Darkfall you’re needed, “ one of my partners informed me. Darkfall is my code name, since all of us assassins left our names behind long ago. I started walking down the blackened hallway towards the boss’s locked down room.


i think in this part you should tell what Darkfall's partner's code name is, just so you wouldn't be wondering throughout that section what it is. even at the end of reading this i wanted to know what his/her name was.

good story though...if i thought it up i would have used it for a school paper to see what my classmates thought about it. i will read your other works and tell you what i think of those too...hopefully they are as good as this one is!
keep writing!!

~Dan




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Tue Jun 03, 2008 3:33 am
gryffgotgame says...



This was a really amazing spin on an assassin's life. I love stories that make the bad guy seem not so bad. They reveal that inside every bad guy is a good guy's conscience. Brilliant concept!!! I loved the piece.




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Tue Jun 03, 2008 3:13 am
[aka]eliza wrote a review...



Wow, what an awesome story. I like how the story just jumps in and you're instantly curious as to what she's talking about. And you want to keep reading to understand it more. At the end though, it seems to jump from the story to "I have been writing this journal entry." I was like "Oh" It made me a little lost for a second there. If it was a journal entry, putting it into past tense would make it more understandable when you hit the journal part. But the ending was really good. Keep writing. =]




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Mon Jun 02, 2008 6:18 pm
Ryukun7 says...



Thanks for the critique and advice! That was very helpful. Maybe I'll rewrite the beginning one day.




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Mon Jun 02, 2008 5:32 pm
miyaviloves wrote a review...



I have a confession to make. I never really tried to save him. I actually am the one that committed the crime. I killed him. This thought has been probing the back of my mind ever since that day…The sad thing is, we were almost true friends. Well, he was the closest person to ever becoming my friend. After all, I am an assassin and he was my target. Yes, I remember that day all too well.


-I really like the opening line, it jumps right into the story without and messing around. But I think the following part is very matter of fact. Maybe you shouldn't tell us everything at the beginning, make us interested to find out what he has to confess to?

Also remember top have a new person tlaking on a new line :)

I really liked this, it showed a different side to an assassins life. And for a short story you did it justice. i didnt even realise it was supposed to be a diary entry until the end, which is really good, becuase sometimes when epople write a journal based story it can be too short and choppy, but you kept it as a real story which was effective.

Well done :)


*flays away*

Meevs
x





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The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes.
— Marcel Proust