magiclukehutch

I'd say Harry Potter was WAY better than Lord of The Rings!

Thank you all for the critique so far! This will make this story much better!

One more thing, you don't use rare adjectives in poems. It ruins it and confuses the reader.

Very romantic, but what does this mean?: She hides under her Emo face

This was very well written and I can see the hard work in it. Well Done!

I liked this and keep writing

Why isn't anybody criting it!?

I've never read or heard of the series but I'll look out for it!

quote: But then that would cost me points. ... Only like 15 or something, come on... I'll just leave it here. It doesn't really matter anyway

I really liked that from the start, I was hooked in and I would give that a 9 out of 10. Well Done!

YWS literary forums are a place to post and get feedback on work by you, not by other people. If you've got a story by someone else you'd like to ...

Good poem! The song is faded No longer heard A little jaded I miss her words This doesn't really make sense.

It's confusing and there are too many paragraghs

That was cute! I didn't like the 'What's your name?' questions. I would think they would know each other

I loved it but you spelt Pyjamas wrong