I miss her words
The song is faded
No longer heard
A little jaded
I miss her words
But not for one moment
Do I suspect
That the Muse is gone
She shines bright in her golden
Land of poetry and prose
And between us lie
Time, distance, and disparate roads
If only we could share
For a few moments
Here for a while
Or a little time there
It would ease the pain
Of the silence . . .
You weave still, fair Arachne
Grander than Orpheus or the artful
Daughters of Jove
But the tides of life
Tear me from your song
So that I cannot listen,
The quiet lasts
Far too long.
I miss you, Muse,
And hope that you miss
This lesser singer too
And I pray that your days pass well
And that soon,
The sooner, the better,
I will get to hear
Your song.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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Luke it is!
Well, Luke, I appreciate the gesture. I'll consider whether there's a way to clarify the meaning. If anyone else has a similar problem with the statement, and can articulate a way to improve it, feel free to chime in.
By the way, call me Luke. I don't know any suggestions but it's just 'I miss her words' that makes it sound weird. Well, to me anyway. I'm just telling you what I think, but if you like it, that's fine with me.
Lucy: I'm glad you liked it!
Rieda: Lol, I'm glad you liked it too!
Emeraldi: And I'm most glad you like it, lol. It's a typo, actually. It's supposed to be "pass," not "pays."
Magiclukehutch: I agree with that first stanza. I mean, I actually think it makes sense, it's just rather clunky. Any suggestions?
Good poem!
This doesn't really make sense.
Gorgeous, Tony. Perfectly gorgeous. Only one question...
...should that be "And I pray that your day pays well," or "And I pray that your days pay well?" Or am I missing something entirely?
This is so beautiful. I love the flow and the rhyming that appears at the perfect moments. I can't find anything wrong with it, which is also a great sign, lol. Loved it!
Keep at it!
-Rieda
awww scribbles *hugs*
Thats really romantic... i like it... but i did get a little confuzzled at the "You weave still, fair Arachne
Grander than Orpheus or the artful
Daughters of Jove " bit. other than that, it was heaps good!