lyrical_sunshine

Rascal: You've got a great start here, but I'm seeing some things you could definitely work on. 1. Characters. I'm not really feeling connected to your characters. They feel kind ...

Hey Areida! This was beautiful, and you're definitely getting a gold star from me. :) But I have to admit it took me a little while to figure out the ...

First of all, your first and last lines were AWESOME. Perfect. Do not change them. :P That said, there were a few little errors that jumped out at me. Well, ...

You got a pretty thorough critique in the last two comments, so I second their edits. :) I really like the idea of having a character with CIPA, and that's ...

I would really, really like to see a story based on this poem. It makes me want to know more, and it seems like such a sweet story. I feel ...

Wow, I really, really loved this! But I guess that's nothing new, since I love almost all your stuff, Jig. I loved the back and forth between past and present; ...

I agree with the comment about good imagery. It's a little simple, but the idea your trying to convey isn't simple at all. Maybe spice it up a little? Also, ...

"I always hoped that when I got older my crush on Ian would fade away, but here I am, fourteen years old and still trailing after him as if my ...

Immediate observations: 1. That's a lot of "A" names. Diversify a little. 2. First chapter of Harry Potter, with a different name. 3. No two-year-old looks like he's only a ...

Hey there emily! I love the premise, just because I LOVE Robin Hood retellings. However, I have to admit that I didn't read this whole thing. Try splitting this into ...

As usual, Twit, I have next to nothing to critique. I DID feel that the ending was a bit abrupt though. Gaspard is selling her family, and her reactions seem ...

CHAPTER 1. Song : Death and All His Friends-- Coldplay Harsh sunlight burned down on the state of Nevada, toasting more freckles onto my already spotted skin. (Love your verb ...

The movie is definitely not as good as the book - I had to sleep with the light on when I read the book - but it's a decent movie. ...

Try Ally Carter's "I'd Tell You I Love You, but then I'd Have to Kill You." My sister loved it - a secret school of young spies. Saving the world. ...

LOL Why are Twilight parodies so hilarious? I know we all harbor secret love-hate and envy towards Stephenie Meyer, so why do we insist on making fun of her all ...