lxtmidnight

Hey! LxTMidnight, here to critique your story. Nuff small-talk, I'll start... First of, I should start by saying that when I read anything, I take a look at the first ...

I was not expecting the twist xD The only thing I had to point out has already been said (the DOWN missing from downstairs) Anyways, I loved it :D *stars*

Jetpack picked up most of the things I was going for, except: I fell to my knees reaching my arms out and holding her. I was careful not to move ...

This looks interesting! I think I'll take a bite: He could almost taste the air, thick with the festival’s smells; cooking meat and the spicy seasoning his region was known ...

Should you keep going? Yes, definitely yes...you've caught my interest. Not only that, but I really like the voice of your character. Just one little thing.... At first father forced ...

Antigone Cadmus picked up on nearly everything I saw, but I'll still give it a shot xD The wind howled, sending items overboard into the billowing black ocean. "Sending" doesn't ...

For the most part, everything's been picked up on. But there two little things (And I really mean little, but maybe not the explanations xD) that really bother me about ...

XD XD AIR PLEASE...! My Favorite Parts: EDWARD: It's ok Bella. It's ok. Stephenie Meyer won't hurt you. and STEPHENIE MEYER: [suddenly appears next to EDWARD and BELLA] I think ...

I enjoyed reading this! I like the Medieval feel it's got; not only that, but it was unique, and I'm all for originality XD. I was really into it until ...

*Has a bad seventh grade flashback* Hatchet .... *shudder* The entire time I was just yelling at the pages, "Die already!" I was just waiting for someone to say this ...

Wow, this took me somewhere totally unexpected, and I loved it! I do, however, agree with olivia with the opening line...stating the exact time makes it seem a bit awkward. ...

I just happened to skim through, and what everything I saw was very visual, and the imagery is wonderful! It sounds interesting from what I looked over. Sorry that I ...

My Mother and Father stopped me from trying to go any further. They said "She's gone darling, she's gone". But Eva couldn't be gone. She couldn't be gone because we ...

I vote for beginning TWO! It caught and held my attention exceptionally well, which is saying something because my attention span is less than a flea's XD. I also had ...

(Almost an entire month late, but here we go!) I don't have anything to say about the grammar, because I'm sure it's all been picked up on. BUT Add the ...