lucyy

Yes, of course I can!! I'm just flattered you're so interested :D Thank you for being so dedicated d: I hand in my first draft to my teacher on Tuesday, ...

thatannagirl -- thank you for reading my work, and good point, I will try and vary my words: I did kinda overdo the whole 'I have pale hands' thing oops ...

Aww thank you & I totally get the 'creepy' thing - I just couldn't think of a better wrod at that moment & lol I'm not after cheating, this'll be ...

Aww, thank you so much ashley :D I'm so glad you like it (: & I'm glad you now understand her reasons for going, as I wasn't too clear on ...

I'm glad this alot better (: yayy (: & thank you daytripper for reading this a second time - you've been soo helpful, so thank you. And I will alter ...

Yayy so pleased thank youuuu (: I worked so hard at the improvement, I'm glad you liked it woop woop, so happy :D & lol i know, i would never ...

Thank you so much ashley, I'm glad you like it yayy so happy :D & thank you so much for reading it and just thank you (i say that too ...

Thank you so much ashleylee for reading my three posts of this, I really appreciate it, they will come in really helpful in the altering process (: But I'll let ...

Thank you for reviewing & critiquing this ashleylee, I will take everything you said on board, when I get back to altering this. & by the way, I just thought ...

Thank you ashleylee for reviewing this - so kind (: & by the way some of the spellings you pointed out, I spell different to you as I'm from England ...

I totally love the idea to this & I so want to read more .. so please PM me when you post any follow-ups to this :D Lucyy xx

The ending of this is just great - I love the way you've changed this to two parts a chapter - builds up loads of suspense!! I'm off to read ...

Wow, I love the new improved preface!! You wrote it beautifully & the starting paragraph was just amazing, it drew me in straight away! This preface built up loads of ...

Ooh, I have no idea oin which direction this is going in, which is great as I'm already addicted and really want to know what's happening next (: I really ...

Thank you everyone for your critiques, they came in soo helpful in the process of altering this. I hope this is alot better, but critique is still very much welcome!! ...