lozzen

hi, well first i really liked this, i don't know what it is that i liked so mnuch, i think it has something to do with your style of writing ...

hey bisquit! Ok so i realise this is the beginning of the book and overall i thought it was good. A bit jumbled and hard to understand in places but ...

I would just like to say that i thought it was a rule on YWS to say at least one thing that is good about a piece. This would stop ...

ok as usual tis good, v. good i have been following this story and am really looking forward to the next chapter. Right onto spelling and grammer, i'm not too ...

Hi charlie, tis i the loz miester. Anyway, the poem. Loved the imagery it actually brought up similar pictures that i got from the book theif, (now thats not a ...

Fantastic. That really gave me goose bumps. Your imagery is great, i can really picture the pub. There are a few mistakes grammar wise but nothing major. I do have ...

hmmm i got quite a clear view of him bein a guy, but maybe you should mention his name then just to make it that extra bit clearer. Btw i ...

Also I think you should definitely talk more about her character. How old is she? What does she look like? What sort of a personality does she have? Details help ...

Now before i do anything i would like to say that this poem has great potential and i like the topic. I do however have some issues with it. The ...

Yet again great work. Yes it was simple but that's what made it great, like it was being told from a childs point of view (enhanced by the use of ...

Gosh. Wow. Well, what can i say? Amazing. This is really beautiful. It really touched me. Beautifully written. I really love it. Seriously. The way you have written from your ...

This is a very powerful poem here. I like it. I do have a few changes i would like you to consider however. Like... "You treat me like I’m worthless ...

ok i really like the first line Stainless steel bars assigned in black coloring – eyelashes. I thought that was a really good introduction to the piece and i thought ...

I thought it was a really good piece of work, but (and i don't know if you'd meant to do this) in the first stanza you have used the lines ...

I really liked this poem. It was well written and flowed well. i really admire the way you used different ways for saying screamed, i would like to point out ...