kokobeans

Haha I love it. You've used a good old classic style that I haven't seen in a long time. I have to disagree with Suzanne though, I think home and ...

Erm... I'm not really sure how to take that critique. I don't actually understand half of what you've said... It also seems like you haven't understood half of the story ...

As a poem this is a little short, and personally I think continuous rhyme gets slightly annoying. As a riddle I like this... though I still haven't worked out what ...

'Idiots.' Haha I love that. I really like this, you've introduced Stanton very well. I also like the way you've added a comical side to a serious situation, it's very ...

Volent - I couldn't decide on another way to say 'gasp'. I was thinking along the lines of taking a deep breath of air. If anyone can find a better ...

Gryphon The crash thing, i was trying to make the sound of it move, but you're right, it doesn't make much sense. I managed to use a spellchecker, and still ...

Fantastic! I agree with everything Kazdrea said. You've captured the emotions of your characters brilliantly, and very genuinely too. You've got a great style of writing. You've set up a ...

...and rain turns to diamonds...

Hi, i see you're new. Maybe you haven't quite got the hang of this. What's the idea behind this post exactly?

I really like the ideas behind this letter, but I was wondering, what's the purpose of it. Telling a one-sided story through letters is an interesting technique, but perhaps you ...

Haha, very smart, but I do agree it could be longer. Maybe you could throw in some more x words. I don't really know what else to say about this, ...

This is a brilliant and thoughtful poem. Every line seems to fit perfectly in it's place, even the title. I know this isn't a very helpful crit, but I thought ...

I like this. You've kept the writing simple, but still portraying something complex behind it. It's very cute, but I do agree that it could be longer. I think it ...

Haha! Hilariously brilliant! I haven't laughed this hard in so long. Kudos. Oh, can I feature this on my profile?

I love it. There's a lot of really good ideas in there, and i like the style of writing too. Keep up the good work. Kudos.