klotrox16

Is this for real? Are you using a forum that celebrates literacy to advertise for capitalistic gain? If so: That is the epitome of irony.

If by punctuation you mean periods I absolutely refuse. I hate periods in poetry.

I figured the easiest way to do this was to quote the whole thing a notate it. So here's my review: A little choppy right here Heaving heavily in, my ...

Well thanks for the suggestion but I'm not changing the way it starts. "you did nothing wrong" is the main character talking to someone very close to them and explaining ...

Thank you so much for your comment! And I don't ever plan on premature death murtuza :) but the comment gave me comfort

Well...it's actually about suicide. Being unhappy for so long, seeing only monotony until the sun sets-which never lasts long, beacause in the person'a mind nothing beautiful or real lasts long. ...

Thank you so much! Much appreciated! It was great, and I started drawing manga which I should post sometime! -Klotrox

Nice imagery. You seem to veer off into a different style of writing after the second paragraph though then switch back. I like the message it seems like ity should ...

Thank you for the suggestion, though I don't know what you mean by "thinking about" if you coud pinpoint that it would be great. Also, switching the humans with the ...

Grammatical errors? Darn...I even had it spell checked. As far as everything else you're absolutely right. It was the most random thing I cooked up in like 30 minutes for ...

Thank you for your feedback! It's a cntest entry and today is the deadline so I'm grateful you told me this so I could change it in time! -Klotrox

Thank you so much! I agree my rhyme was off, but I tried. Not to spoil it all for you, but what the poem is about is when I was ...

Note: I edited the lines Renn commented on above a little so it makes more sense :)

I love how you tie the beginning of the poem back at the end with the essential message you wanted to get at.

Lovely connotations for the word "black". I think you have a good thing going here and your reference to writing and art flow beautifully. It's very easy to grasp but ...