Dear to all beloved ones-
I see the sun melt into fluff
Headlights flash as dusk creeps in
The fiery sky burn shadows on skyscrapers
Washing out the atmosphere
Devouring the world's blue
Why can't the world stand still like this?
Like the picture no museum can buy
The only hour happiness inhabits an urban cityscape
Is when time waves goodbye in a flash
Rain blurs my vision, but it's not rain
Trickles down my pale face
Watching these things, the time is known
Shivering on the fire escape, Horizon whispers solemnly
"The time to go is now"
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
139,524 Literary Works • 672,598 Reviews
Thank you so much for your comment! And I don't ever plan on premature death murtuza
but the comment gave me comfort
I had no idea what the poem was all about too until I read your description of it. On first reading it, it sounds a lot like a letter that you're writing about the beauty of the sun when it is out and falling on the city's landscape. And then how, when the night comes, all the happiness is blown away by pain and anguish. I like your use of the environment around you (for instance, "Shivering on the fire escape"). When I read your own description, it was only then that I had confirmed that the poem was more serious than it actually looked. This is a nice piece that comforts the reader in the beginning and then slowly makes the reader feel uneasy until the last line. Nice job writing this and in case you ever had/have the intention of suicide, I strongly recommend that you don't do it. Instead, write poems like these that express your feelings.
This is a great write! Keep the ink flowing!
Well...it's actually about suicide. Being unhappy for so long, seeing only monotony until the sun sets-which never lasts long, beacause in the person'a mind nothing beautiful or real lasts long. In this case the sun sets for the final time on this person.
This poem force me to think of what it tells.I am not sure what is the message you want to expressed. In what i can figure out is that this poem somehow touches on nature. It begins with a sunset. Then i can see that its all about pollution. The 'rains' is not a nature case. As you wrote,
I guess that you are not in a good shape which explain the affect of pollution.