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Re: You Don't
this poem is pretty good, but you need to separate it into stanzas to separate each new thought: I pause, hoping you'll reconsider, Call my name. Wait. Change of heart. ...
Jul 22, 2011 -
Re: Somewhere Only Harry Knows (very small HP spoilers)
hi emmylove, this poem was pretty good, but I think I can point out things that disrupted the flow!! Okay? Good. I swam across an empty land. I knew the ...
Jul 22, 2011 -
Re: It's a shame
:O My jaw was just hanging open. I've never actually read such an amazing poem!!!!!! AWESOME JOB, YO!!!!!!!! I love the last stanza: It’s a shame, is it not?— Between ...
Jul 22, 2011 -
Re: EDIT:Phantom of the Opera Poem
well, this is a pretty good poem, I love how you started out, with the metaphor of As the violinist pulls his bow across my heart, It shows a lot ...
Jul 22, 2011 -
Re: White America
Wow, NOW I know why I clicked on this! I like how you put down: I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of White America. I clearly ...
Jul 22, 2011 -
Re: I tried
well, this was a very good poem. it went very nicely for me. the flow was significant, but there a few things that you need to work on. you made ...
Jul 20, 2011 -
Re: unspoken
This poem was pretty short. Some things disrupted the flow. And I guess I will show you what happened: From the words of a monster i capitalize the I hate ...
Jul 20, 2011 -
Re: The beast and the beauty
There are some spelling mistakes. I think you would need to proofread your story a few times. You misspelled a lot of words. Maybe they were just typos, but you ...
Jul 20, 2011 -
Re: How I Became King
I liked this poem, especially since it rhymed nicely, but there is only one thing i did not really like. I think it was a typo or something like that: ...
Jul 20, 2011 -
Re: Stranger.
i'm new to poetry and that......... I guess you can write it in any way, but this poem particularly looked weird.... You need to put it in a ........... i ...
Jul 20, 2011 -
Re: A Tale of the Abused
It's a very nice story. Well, certainly not nice, but I like the way how you wrote it. Maybe in a few sentences you could have added prepositional phrases of ...
Jul 20, 2011 -
Re: [Undecided title]
I like how you came up with names to match each person's sword. Like Illumia and Darkheart. Very creative, but I don't really understand when you said, Darkheart stabbed viciously ...
Jul 19, 2011 -
Re: The Lilac Fairy
Great Job! I like how you made it work together in such a great flow!!!!!! But you need to spell check aLOT. Remember to Capitalize the first letter of ur ...
Jul 19, 2011