White America

Wow is the only word I can use to describe this. You didn't hold back in this poem, from slavery to the kkk you tell it like it is. The one thing that through me off was the America- before every line. I would have left that out just cause I feel it distracts from the true message behind the poem. The title of the poem caught my eye and the poem did the rest! I think you did a wonderful job on this! Also this is a great example of satire, I really do love this piece!

This is the most 'you' work I have read so far. As much as I would like to, irritatingly, I can't actually disagree with any of the points you make. So as a thoughtful, careful writer, what you have created is actually a little slice of genius. It highlights some key issues I think ignorant people forget about.
eg. America- formerly the home of the slaves
And also incorporates some ironic/sarcy humour, that couples brilliant with what can only be described as a dark but true message.
Lovely work.

Yours in ink

~Bloodink

This is what America is all about. I oughta print this out and pin it up somewhere. I feel like this does define white America, not all white America, but the majority, politics, entertainment, there is a lot of racism and focus on one racial group going on in this country, I'm glad you had the guts to say it and pen it down. Nicely done.

Grandison

This is an interesting poem in that it shows us what other countries think of America. I would, if I were you, try to emphasize the idea of this being a Britain looking at America and American history and summing it up in one poem.
Because if you were American and were attempting to write a poem like this from the inside, I would admonish you for having such a slim view of America. I'm not a big patriot or anything but I really hate it when people generalize; like every country or even every body of people we are so diverse, ethnically and culturally and we have a lot more going for us than a handful of ugly instances that everyone likes to point to that are supposed to "define us" or our government completely.
As a poem, it was good. It proved its point vividly and didn't ramble. But as a portrait of America I would say it is lacking a little.
But like I said, I don't expect you to understand the nuances of our history and culture; if I wrote a poem about Britain it would be so horrible and uninformed.
I guess what I'm trying to say is well-written poem that serves its purpose and awakens the Rush Limbaugh "This is the greatest country on earth and anyone who says otherwise is a terrorist!" right-wing side of me.
So I guess if it evokes a strong emotion, great job.

This is exellant and true! I think the way you said america before every sentance though, got a bit reapetative. Maybe just put it like in the fist sentance and the last sentance before you say I plage allegeance, whatever. Anyway.
Over all, this was an awesome poem!
Keep up the great work!

Wow, NOW I know why I clicked on this! I like how you put down:

I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of White America.

Oh yes I love Henry Rollins. He is so honest, isn't he? I love his work.

Very intresting. Reminds me of the books of poetry by Henry Rollins, if you've heard of him. Your portrayal of America's darker points of it's history is revealing how in many ways complete equality has not yet been accomplished despite the abolishment of slavery and the establishment of civil rights in the modern day United States of America. I do wonder how you have made all of these points and know so much about the U.S. being from Britan. Also "states" should be capitalized in the first and last stanzas. I'm not sure I understand the part about

JFK got what he had deserved for a while

I'm British actually, but easily mistaken.

At least you're writing. That's more
than I can say for some people.

In terms of provoking a response,
I'd say this piece was rather successful
and, finally: AMERICA: The place where
you can write whatever/whenever you
want and don't have to run from
tyrannical dictators, like Ceausescu
or Kim Jong Ill, who'd persecute both
you and you're family for not crying at
their deceased father's statue. I
dunno, just gave it a shot.

Adios Amigo~

This was a good poem. I liked the focus of repeating America in every line. It was interesting, because I'm an American and the way you spelled color (colour) I'm assuming you're British. So I thought it was cool to see how you felt about America, and it is all very true and I did enjoy this poem a lot.