kaiden

You need to be careful with grammar and literature errors as they can really disrupt the flow of the story. Also if you're going to have them talk about love ...

Good poem! Good flow too. This is really nice. I'd like to go there myself just to see what it's like. I don't know if it's more like Neverland or ...

Whoa interesting. I like it. I don't really know what to say here. It seems like everything is perfect just the way it is. I really like the first sentence ...

I had one last chance, but I gave that one last chance up that's really my only issue with this. Other than that. I completely relate to this poem. I ...

Wow nice. Very cool. Definitely a "I'll give all my love to you" kind of poem. Interesting. I like the rhythm and rhyming here. I thought it flowed really well. ...

Creepy. Dark. I like it. Sorry I usually don't look for stuff to critique unless it's screaming at me. Nothing I read really bothered me while I read it. Seems ...

Allen spoke first, “Sergeant Corbet you’re a General now, congratulations. How much butt kissing did you have to do to get there?” General Corbet’s face remained passive and Allen continued ...

Okay okay... it was pretty good. (just so you know, I write like I talk so yeah...). I thought it was good but I felt like you could have done ...

Hey I liked it. I liked the first four lines because they were connected. The night at sea and the froth of a majestic wave. I thought that was nice. ...

wooooo nice story, kinda creepy. Okay so you made a couple of mistakes and I will (apologetically) point them out. I stopped in my tracks. I searched around paranoid and ...

First of all, to Thegirlwholived, LOVE your signature, it's awesome. Second of all, great poem, not much else to say, and indeed it is a silly love. haha But it ...

I agree with Quetseli, it seemed like pretty legit poem. By a good idea, what do you mean? Were you going to make a story out of it? Or more ...

ooooooh I like! Very good, I can understand what the poem is telling me. Though I'm still unclear on the reference to seven fold. But, it's the story of a ...

Wow that was really nice! It seems so real, like it actually happened to you. I can relate to Ian's nervousness, the pounding of the ears, the uncertainty, the second ...

Awesome! A Metal Gear that can fly! Sounds like something Hideo Kojima(i hope that's the right guy lol) would think of next. And like everyone else said, you started off ...