joshuapaul

Okay I will do a brief line - by - line. Carefully, so I don’t wake the sleeping humans, I trudge downstairs for a drink of water. It's good that ...

Take it easy. I suspect the author didn't write this for admiration, nor to get it featured. It's such a cute little nickname too.

Wow thanks Sarg, I've taken it all to heart and amended it. Will PM response. Just an A/N for future reviewers, it's set in NZ so terms like 'the vietnam ...

Ha, well done. Clever indeed! I drink to you, my far-way love, and bid you ramble on. Lovely. Can I ask, does this conform to a style of poetry? I'm ...

This is great, well done.

Wow this was tough to read. I must confess, I skipped a handful of spoilers. Good idea though, and well executed I guess, light and funny so well done.

Oh Confetti, you have ousted me. It's my nemesis, capitalized words mid sentence, so allusive under my careful editing eyes. Thanks for the nitpicks, I will amend it now.

Okay, let's go. I will critique the spoiler too. I like the title, but I'm not sure if you have utilised this handy little aspect fully. I mean you don't ...

Death of an Angel The title is perhaps the most important part of a story this short. It provides a premise, and by the end it should tie back in. ...

Thanks Charlie. Very thorough, insightful and you have surfaced a few errors that I will address. Only three points I am still a little confused about. 1) 18 rating. I ...

Okay Mike, I concede. 'liked' - It would be rude not to!

This looks great!

Thanks for the advice. It is all very helpful and I will amend the mistakes. I will briefly make two points about the story, I was hoping I wouldn't have ...

Oh and by the way, Welcome to YWS!

Great work Nutty. P.S - Go the All Blacks!