joshuapaul

I won't delve into this one too much, because much of what I have said about your previous work in one way or another applies to this. It could all ...

Pretty good. That's about the nicest thing I've said to anyone on this site in years so you should be happy with that. You show early in the first chapter ...

As a reader, I am completely and utterly unaffected by this poem. It's dripping in sentimentality and as far as I am concerned it isn't a poem at all; though ...

The night that she was born, Hudson Syntax is off here. You have not established who 'she' is so we assume she is Hudson. Very weak start, and not the ...

This isn't bad. In fact, it would be pretty hard to be genuinely bad with such a tight word limit. The trouble with these exercises is people put arbitrary rules ...

All right, let's get to it. She looked me straight in the eyes and said, “You better pray to God that you aren’t.” Good. It took me two years to ...

I think I one off full edit would probably suffice. There's not enough story to really sink my teeth into. The clouds of smoke began to clear ; , revealing ...

This is pretty good. Which, believe me, is not all that common here at YWS. In saying that, there is a lot wrong with this and it needs a lot ...

Since you have taken time to respond to me, I will take a moment to provide my critique. I want to walk in inner beauty:(Why colon? The first sentence/line of ...

There's a half completed review of this on my computer somewhere... Anyway it was mostly praise and nit picks because the truth is, this is so damn good that any ...

Hmm, not bad. Lucky for you, Short stories are my Forte, that's not to say I'm any good at crafting them. But let's take a look at what you have ...

At it's core, what you have here is a strong insight into loneliness. Who it affects and how. This is very good, if not a little ambitious, but here on ...

Good God is this a Short story or a tweet? But seriously, at YWS most people take their work seriously and I would urge you to do so aswell. Because ...

How wonderful it is to return to your work, Persy. And a nice short one, you must have sense my presence. This is exceptional as usual, I won't delve into ...

Sometimes writers simply write. That is to say, they follow the rules, they don't stretch themselves too much. They avoid cliches, melodrama, hyperbole, sentimentality. They find a balance between sho