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Re: Snow: The Tale of a Cold Heart (Part V)
Tallon's eyes snapped [open.] It's time. He pushed off his thin [x] blanket and swung his bare feet onto the [x] floor. [Don't use superfluous adjectives] He took a moment ...
Jan 4, 2014 -
Re: Snow: The Tale of a Cold Heart (Part IV)
You know how this goes. The [x] glass goblet shattered in his hand. [This is a good image, but again the single standalone sentence feels repetitive to the point of ...
Jan 3, 2014 -
Re: Snow: The Tale of a Cold Heart (Part III)
You know the drill. [x] [It seems repetitive to start your chapter with another standalone sentence. You might be doing it on purpose, but I advise against it] [Lia felt] ...
Jan 3, 2014 -
Re: Snow: The Tale of a Cold Heart (Part II)
I prefer to insert my thoughts into a story as I read it. All edits and comments are inside brackets. A [x] means I deleted something. If a sentence begins ...
Dec 31, 2013 -
Re: Snow: The Tale of a Cold Heart (Part I)
I prefer to insert my thoughts into a story as I read it. All edits and comments are inside brackets. A [x] means I deleted something. If something begins with ...
Dec 31, 2013 -
Re: Gay Rights in Russia
I prefer to put my thoughts in a work as I read it. All comments and edits are in brackets. A [x] means I deleted something. If something starts with ...
Dec 29, 2013 -
Re: Snow: The Tale of a Cold Heart (Prologue)
I prefer to insert my thoughts into a work as I read it. All comments and edits will be inside of brackets. A [x] means I deleted something. If something ...
Dec 26, 2013 -
Re: Quest Unable Chapter One (Rough Draft)
I prefer to put my thoughts into a piece as I read it. All edits or comments will be inside brackets. A [x] means I deleted something. If a sentence ...
Dec 14, 2013 -
Re: The Little Red Box
I prefer to put my thoughts into a story as I read it. All comments and edits will be in brackets. A [x] means I deleted something. If a sentence ...
Dec 11, 2013 -
Re: Eye of the Slayer- Chapters 2-4
I have not read your first chapter, so I'm just going to jump in here if that's all right. I prefer to put my thoughts into a story as I ...
Dec 9, 2013 -
Re: A Hitman
I prefer to add in my thoughts as I read. All edits and comments will be in brackets. A [x] means I deleted something. If a sentence begins with a ...
Dec 8, 2013 -
Re: The Biggest Lie Ever Told
I prefer to add my thoughts as I read. Comments and edits are in brackets. A [x] means I deleted something. If a sentence starts with a [?] it means ...
Dec 8, 2013 -
Re: An Introduction
I prefer to add in my opinions as I read. My thoughts or edits are are brackets. Keep in mind that most of my edits are just re-wordings. A [x] ...
Dec 8, 2013