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jls1638

jls1638

  • Novel / Chapter » Fantasy, Mystery / Suspense Re: The Cobra's Cage: Chpt. 1

    First of all, I love the details. You have a knack of lacing your stories with poetry and description better than I've read in a long time. I love the ...

    Feb 22, 2014
  • Script » Science Fiction, Action / Adventure Re: A Time Machine and a Bullet- SCREENPLAY

    I like it. This is the first screen play I have read so my critique may be slightly skewed. I Think that you did a wonderful job. The only thing ...

    Feb 21, 2014
  • Novel / Chapter » General, General Re: Heroes Fall (chapt. 3 part1)

    I like it. I think that one thing you need to do is read over it and make sure that you have all the grammar mistakes fixed. I understand mistakes ...

    Feb 21, 2014
  • Novel / Chapter » Teen Fiction, Science Fiction Re: Heroes Fall (chapt. 2 part2)

    Okay, first, DAMN. I didn't expect that when their hands touched. I really want to know more about their world because it seems like it's different where prophesy and magic ...

    Dec 26, 2013
  • Novel / Chapter » Action / Adventure, Teen Fiction Re: Heroes Fall

    Okay first of all, i like the plot. I would definitely expand. It seems more like a summary than a story. Again I bring up the feeling evoked from this ...

    Dec 26, 2013
  • Poetry » Lyrical, Romantic Re: For it is Love

    I like that it's simple and short. That said i think that if you added more feeling to it, it would be more powerful to read. For example, on the ...

    Dec 26, 2013
  • Poetry » Romantic, Realistic Re: The Perpetually Incriminating Uncertainty of Us

    First of all i like the poem I think that you get a good point across. A few suggestions I would give are first, shorten it. You have a very ...

    Dec 11, 2013
  • Poetry » Narrative, Dramatic Re: I Dream

    This is a really interesting work. I like that you have a consistency to it and that it's easy to understand. I like how you explained reality in this, as ...

    Dec 11, 2013
  • Novel / Chapter » Supernatural, Romantic Re: The Elemental Survival Games Chapter 1 School Life and Introductions

    Ok first of all i like the story so far a few grammar mistakes that I will point out an then I will give an over view of my opinion ...

    Nov 24, 2013
  • Poetry » Realistic, General Re: Alone

    I love this poem. I pretty much describes how I am most days. With the want of isolation to be calm. I am not a people person to say the ...

    Nov 15, 2013
  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: "I'm starving."

    I like the obvious message behind this and thought that you did a good job conveying that. I think that as a country we think that we have it hard ...

    Nov 12, 2013
  • Novel / Chapter » Mystery / Suspense, General Re: The Puppeteer - Chapter One

    I like the start of it. This is a good first start and I think that maybe if you italicize the parts that go back to the now it would ...

    Nov 11, 2013
  • Novel / Chapter » Dramatic, Mystery / Suspense Re: The first job

    I think that it is a good plot. The major issues I see are grammar, including commas, capitals, and quotations (mainly on the first paragraph). That said it is very ...

    Nov 11, 2013
  • Poetry » Other, General Re: Nocturnal Girl

    I like the simplicity of it. It is to the point but isn't missing any of the descriptions needed to complete it. As for minor details I would like to ...

    Nov 6, 2013
  • Poetry » Dramatic, Narrative Re: "Your Rose"

    This is a beautiful piece. You definitely have a talent for writing poems and should continue. Some things that I like about it is definitely the vocab and use of ...

    Nov 5, 2013


Perhaps when we find ourselves wanting everything, it is because we are dangerously close to wanting nothing.
— Sylvia Plath